"The Ring 2"

You can run, but you can't hide. From the sequel. Isn't that what they say? Or is it just another typical opening scene in every horror movie from here to eternity? Except for mabye "Gigli," but I don't know if that counts. That's a different kind of horror movie. Anyway, I wasn't in the mood for "Hotel Rwanda" yet, and "Shaun of the Dead" had gone missing, so I went with a horror instead. And you want to know what the real horror is? That those poor folk that can't afford a DVD player, and are forced to live on VCRs, will always fall prey to the dreaded "watch this movie and die in seven days" trick. Poor bastards. I mean, who even owns a VCR these days, let alone a blank VCR tape?

"All you have to do is call my name, and I'll follow your voice. Even if I have to come right down into that nightmare with you." Talk about foreshadowing. Okay, so I won't bore you with the details. You can find them here. I'll just say that the sequel picks up six months after the first one left off. And the first one centered around a video tape that, when watched, would cause the viewer to die in seven days, unless they made a copy and got some other sorry sap to watch it. Sucker. So this tape, right, was apparently made by some girl who was killed by her stepmother, in an attempt to get revenge on the world. Or was it? Maybe she needed to be found, and given a proper burial. Or did she? Maybe she wanted to get out of that damn well and wreak havoc on the world. Is that it? Or maybe she just wanted her mommy, as the sequel attempts to find out. "I'm not your fucking mother!" Good times.

So, was I scared? Not as scared as I get thinking that someday my friend Jared and I will be forced to watch "Legally Blonde 2" again, only this time without the aid of heavy libations. But still, the background music was very well done, adding immensely to the ambiance of the film. Ever wonder how bad a movie would be without a soundtrack? Well, watch "Torque" and find out how bad a movie could be even with one. Regardless, the music and sound effects in this film were enough to give me chills, and that's rare for a movie to do that. And the plot was decent, even featuring an appearance by "Carrie" star Sissy Spacek. Though to be honest, it was only good with respect to the fact that you wondered how they were going to tie up all the loose ends. Which they did. Or did they? Will there be a "Ring 3" movie? My guess is yes. Hollywood is churning out loads of this crap these days. So, while I'd recommend this movie on some levels, I'd say I can't wait to review a truly amazing movie, like "What the Bleep do We Know!?." Find out some on that one here. You know the type: a movie that gets you really thinking, and forces you look at your life. Those movies are few and far between, but they are out there, and I hope to find some more of them. Same as I hope to find Ben Affleck a new job so he can give us all a break. Anyway, I'd say grab this movie and a date if you need an excuse to cuddle, just don't give your girl red wine to drink at the same time. Unless you don't value your upholstery.