The Slowest Buffalo

Gone Too Long

2010-01-20T17:48:00.000-05:00

Just a quick heads up to explain my absence. Been doing a kitchen remodel on the house and between that and, between that and my regular job, my running, writing, and photography have taken a back seat. I'm hoping to have it finished soon enough and plan on returning to ALL my activities. And don't worry, I'll post pictures and videos of the remodel.

Training Starts Monday: 16 Weeks to Suntrust National Marathon

2009-11-28T19:15:00.000-05:00

Well, those weeks of eating horribly, training sporadically, and sleeping poorly are coming to an end. It's been a few weeks since the Marine Corps Marathon ended and I've taken a few weeks to relax, race a little, and prepare my training schedule for the Suntrust National Marathon, right here in D.C. on Saturday March 20th.

I'm going to take a training schedule from the book, "Runner's World Run Less, Run Faster: Become a Faster, Stronger Runner with the Revolutionary FIRST Training Program" and see how it goes. I did a half-assed version for the MCM and it showed. I ran three days a week, but each day was just a run, and not a speed workout, tempo run, or distance run like the book recommends. And I didn't cross train. I'm looking forward to the track workout Monday night to kick things off and see how this works for me.

I'm hoping to use this next marathon to qualify for Boston but the book hints that I'm not quite fast enough yet, and it's probably right. So I'm going to start the training slower than needed for Boston and see if, over the course of training, I'm able to pick the pace up and ease into Boston-worthy training runs. I just haven't been working my speed enough since my return to running.

Things are looking good in the speed department, however, I've felt myself getting faster over the past few weeks, although only marginally. Knowing now that I need to give every run a specific purpose and respect my non-running days should help put me in the catbird seat for Boston. Wish me luck!

Breathing Easier

2009-11-17T08:22:00.000-05:00

Happy 6-month Anniversery, Daniel and Roxanna. How do I know they just celebrated their 6-month anniversery? Because exactly 6 months ago today, in Lima (Peru), I had my last cigarette after their wonderful wedding. I fired it up, smoked it down, and then stomped it out. Since then it hasn't been easy, and there have certainly been days I've wanted one (or twenty), but a few things have kept me on the path.

The first, of course, is the support of my friends and family. Even those that smoke tended not to do it around me (or, at least, not do it as often). They certainly didn't try to pressure me into having "just a drag." And that really helps. Remember that next time you light up around someone who is trying to quit: every little bit helps. And maybe, just maybe, they'll inspire you into hanging it up, too.

The second little helper is running. Getting back into running after 2 years away from it has provided me with the mental motivation to stay away from the cancer sticks. Though in the past I was known for firing up a little lung cigar in the middle of a marathon I'm not that same young guy anymore. Now I need all the help I can get to stay competitive. I often wonder how good I'd be today if I had stuck with running all my life AND not smoked. I guess I'll never know.

Third, is my ongoing support of the American Cancer Society. We've been raising money for them through Club 10-56 (our non-profit) for over 8 years now. Before I was able to get past the hypocrisy of smoking at these events by saying that I was funding my retirement, that by the time I DID get cancer they would have a cure, thanks in part to my fundraising. Now I can support the cause without concern for my own well-being as well.

Fourth (and this is no small reason for an addict): I'm addicted to numbers. As the streak grows I don't want to be the one to bring down that house of cards. It feels GOOD to say I've gone one day, one week, one month, SIX months, without a puff, and see that number grow. If that feels good imagine what it will feel like to say you've gone 1 YEAR, 10 years, a lifetime! It's good to brag about the large numbers, and I don't want to start over at one measly day. Would you?

Finally, how can I bring this full circle back to Daniel and Roxanna? Easy: it's wicked cool to be able to say that your last cigarette was in Lima, Peru. And who wants to replace THAT with some dive bar down the street? Not this guy.

If you're curious of what the body goes through after that last puff, I've listed a timeline below for you (information quoted from American Cancer Society, this link):

Immediate rewards of quitting

Kicking the tobacco habit offers some benefits that you'll notice right away and some that will develop over time. These rewards can improve your day-to-day life a great deal:

your breath smells better
stained teeth get whiter
bad smelling clothes and hair go away
your yellow fingers and fingernails disappear
food tastes better
your sense of smell returns to normal
everyday activities no longer leave you out of breath (such as climbing stairs or light housework)

20 minutes after quitting

Your heart rate and blood pressure drops.

(Mahmud A, Feely J. Effect of Smoking on Arterial Stiffness and Pulse Pressure Amplification. Hypertension. 2003;41:183.)

12 hours after quitting

The carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1988, p. 202)

2 weeks to 3 months after quitting

Your circulation improves and your lung function increases.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, pp. 193, 194, 196, 285, 323)

1 to 9 months after quitting

Coughing and shortness of breath decrease; cilia (tiny hair-like structures that move mucus out of the lungs) regain normal function in the lungs, increasing the ability to handle mucus, clean the lungs, and reduce the risk of infection.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, pp. 285-287, 304)

1 year after quitting

The excess risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a smoker's.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, p. vi)

5 years after quitting

Your stroke risk is reduced to that of a non-smoker 5 to 15 years after quitting.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, p. vi)

10 years after quitting

The lung cancer death rate is about half that of a person who continues smoking. The risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, cervix, and pancreas decrease, too.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, pp. vi, 131, 148, 152, 155, 164, 166)

15 years after quitting

The risk of coronary heart disease is the same as a non-smoker's.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, p. vi)

Movie Review: Saint Ralph

2009-11-09T16:17:00.000-05:00

It will take a miracle for his mother to come out of her coma.

14 year-old Ralph Walker winning the Boston marathon could be that miracle.

In a Word: SEE

Saint Ralph gives us the journey of a young boy willing to do whatever it takes, against the wishes of those around him, to help save his mother. Ralph begins looking for a miracle when told that's what it will take for his comatose mother to recover. After one of his frequent mistakes Ralph's headmaster assigns Ralph to running with the boys cross country team as punishment. It is here that his coach unknowingly sets Ralph on the impossible journey of winning the Boston marathon.

Written BY a runner FOR runners this in not a movie to miss. Watch as Ralph inspires those around him to do the impossible. Maybe you'll be equally as inspired.

Coupon Clippers: Portabellos

2009-11-07T08:47:00.001-05:00

Every so often I'm going to review a restaurant or attraction that we've gone to. Here's the catch: we need to use a coupon to go there. So these are places that we may not otherwise have gone to if it weren't for me trolling for coupons.

Up this week: Portabellos in Arlington.

In a word: GO

Portabellos in Arlington is a deal even without the coupon. You can find one every week in the Super Saver envelope. If that doesn't work I'm told you can sign up for their mailing list and receive coupons that way.

Tucked away in a little corner of North Pollard Street in Arlington (across from the Cherrydale Fire Department) it would be easy pass up this little gem. Give it a shot, however, and you'll see how very hard it is to pass up their homemade desserts.

The food is on par with a Morton's, but the prices are on par with a McDonald's. Okay, not quite THAT cheap, but getting out the door of a fine restaurant these days for under $100 is hard to do, and you can do just that at Portabellos while ordering a full ensemble (we're talking an appetizer, drinks, meals, desserts, and even a bottle of wine).

The fried green tomatoes were tasty; I have nothing to compare them to (first time I'd had them), but Kristen assured me they were well prepared. The filet mignon was melt in your mouth tender. "Filet mignon" is French for "dainty fillet," did you know? But this steak wasn't girlie; it was all man, baby. And the flourless chocolate cake was a dream. I STRONGLY recommend that cake (pair it with a scoop of ice cream).

So, the food: excellent; the price: a deal; the service: good (the owner was even there, and that's always a good sign); and the atmosphere: acceptable (quaint, even).

Clip yourselves a coupon and head on in to Portabellos. Your tummy will thank you (and your wallet won't be too upset, either).

2 Years!?!?!

2009-11-06T07:46:00.002-05:00

It's been almost 2 years since I've posted on this thing. That's too long. I think it's time to dust this thing off and start writing and reviewing again.

So, without further ado, this week's review is about...World of Warcraft. That's right, sports fans, World of Warcraft (hereafter referred to as "WoW").

In one simple word: DON'T. I FINALLY got my life back after getting sucked into that game nearly 2 years ago, and while it was a much better time (and money) sink than other activities (read: hookers and crack) it was still a time (and money) sink. Real life is a much better place to spend my time, and real life friends are much better than disembodied voices on the other end of a ventrilo server.

Don't get me wrong, I DID meat some pretty cool people playing the game. But these are people most people rarely (if ever) see. There were the odd opportunities to meat some of them IRL (WoW-speak for "in real life") but I never took advantage of those opportunities. Mostly b/c they would have required MORE time (travel) and MORE money (airfare) than WoW already took from me on a monthly basis.

But I also avoided it b/c the fantasy is SO much better that the reality. In my WoW fantasy world everyone that I met was a cool, hip dude or gorgeous svelte woman, all of whom would have been at home at both sports bars and wine parties. In my WoW reality world most probably looked like Uncle Fester from the Addams Family (and we're talking both the guys AND the girls here) and couldn't fit in socially at a hot dog stand. While I'm certain that that's not true for ALL of them I'm more certain that the truth is closer to my WoW reality than it is my WoW fantasy. So, I kept to the fantasy.

While I will miss many of the people I talked to many a night into the wee hours of the morning, I will NOT miss the time spent away from friends and family, the money lost to fantasy worlds and false economies, the arguments with my lady, and that odd look I'd get when people learned that I, too, had succumbed to World of Warcraft.

So from now on you'll see me out and about a bit more. Because running through the streets of Arlington on a bike path is much more athletic than roaming the plains of Azeroth on a hippogryph.

Happy Holidays

2007-12-19T14:11:00.000-05:00

Just a quick entry to wish everyone a Happy Holiday Season!!!

I'll try and write more after the break.

Things are going well. I'm still alive. And, if you're reading this, so are you!! And that's a good thing... thanks, Martha. Beotch.

Off to Visual Evolution 2007

2007-10-22T13:10:00.000-05:00

http://www.corda.com/corda-data-visualization-conference.php

My company hosts an annual data visualization conference in Salt Lake City and I'm leaving today to see if I can learn a bit more.

So far the job is going well. It's a bit odd to go from spending around 2 hours a day in the car commuting to working from home (I have yet to see the inside of a client site). I'm able to use the time to work out a few times a week and still relax. That's not too bad.

This weekend is the Marine Corps Marathon. It'll be a bit odd not running it but I'm looking forward to sidelining it and cheering people on.

It's also Halloween weekend so I'd best get started planning a costume. What shall I wear?

Digital Buffalo Update

2007-09-26T11:47:00.000-05:00

Hello All,

I've added some photos of the DC area (the mall, in particular, and it's monuments) to the website. Feel free to visit http://www.digitalbuffalo.net and have a gander.

Also, if you know of anyone interested in posting their photos for potential profit feel free to let me know.

Best Wishes,
Jason

Update

2007-09-04T15:06:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a LONG time since I posted, and ALOT has happened since then. I'll just stick with the big announcement.

After 3 years with Infoglide Software I am leaving to join a Utah-based company called Corda. Infoglide is Austin-based, so working for a company based halfway across the US of A isn't anything new. If anything it will give me a chance to see another part of the country and perhaps get back into photography and running again.

Both Corda and Infoglide are small companies (around 50 people) so there's no big change their either; I'll still have an opportunity to shine and bring big things to the company.

Corda develops custom dashboards. Basically these dashboards sit over top of a company's data and allows them to see that data in various ways (charts, graphs, spreadsheets) in various levels of granularity. This allows them to make better decisions faster, so you can see why it's a hot item right now.

So...why did I leave?

I've come to realize you need 3 things to be happy with a job. You need to enjoy: what you do, who you do it with, and where you do it. I've been hitting only 2 for 3 since I returned from England. My commute puts me on the road for nearly 2 hours every day (well, Monday through Thursday -- I secured a 4-day work week) and that is unacceptable.

This new job will start in Crystal City, which is about 35 miles closer to my house and it metro-accessible. This should allow me at least an extra hour every day for other things.

I've been trying to get back into programming (Java, in particular) and Infoglide helped me with that by sending me to some classes, but they just couldn't give me the amount of Java-based work to solidify those skills. Corda's product is all Java and much of the custom code I write has a chance to make it into the core product. So...basically I'm getting paid to learn more Java.

What's great about getting paid to learn more Java is that I'm getting paid MORE to learn it. My big fear previously was that I'd have to take a pay cut. The fact that I'm helping them in other areas makes up for my ignorance with Java. In fact, I'm getting an 18.5% increase in base pay with an additional $10k if I meet all my objectives (which would equal a total of 30% increase in pay), so I'm uber-psyched.

So, in closing, I'm getting paid MORE money to learn MORE Java CLOSER to home, with an opportunity for MORE responsibility. It's a win-win situation, really.

I hope this finds all of you well. Perhaps this time I'll keep my promise to update this more regularly.

Best wishes.

Digital Buffalo Lives!!!

2007-01-02T12:12:00.000-05:00

Well, I know that I don't update this thing near often enough. Maybe that will change, maybe it won't. It's just too hard to say with the way my life has been going these past few months.

Regardless of that, my life is going well. I'm VERY happy and spent a wonderful holiday break with friends and family. My parents win the prize for best gift ever with a 45 minute stunt flight on a biplane! My sister's family followed that up with a video session for the entire flight. I can't wait. Kristen, as usual, was extremely thoughtful and got me some very special gifts, one of which was the new 80GB iPod video, which I can use to help sell my photography.

I say that to say this: my photography website is up and running. We're currently in the process of getting the photos up there, as well as signing up other artists. I'm also working on getting the underlying purchasing accounts active (Paypal is currently the only one working). I'm very excited to get this started and special thanks go out to Kelly's friend for buying one of my framed photos (right off my wall) for his wife for Christmas. Without that purchase under my belt my website may have been stuck in limbo for even longer.

Without further ado, I give to you... Digital Buffalo!!!

Back to Life...

2006-10-23T10:45:00.000-05:00

...Back to reality. Back to the here and now. Ah, a little musical interlude to start my life working again. I've been back to work for a few weeks now and I must say that, while it sucks in some ways, it's not all that bad.

Let's start with how it's not all that bad.

Well, the client is metro accessible, my house is metro accessible, so I walk to work and don't have to worry about traffic and parking. Though I do have to worry about crowded train cars and halitosis and pit smells. But that's not too bad.

Plus I'm coming in on the end of a VERY easy installation and all I have to do really is sit and do some simple documentation. Nothing fancy to gum up my day. It's a good way to ease back into my software. Also, it means I have fairly short work days, some of which can be from home. Not bad.

Now here's the reason I'm a little upset. It's not that busy, the client just canceled on us, I have a free flight anywhere in the world, and Kristen's leaving for Greece this week. This means...I could have gone with her!

Her parents invited me, meaning I have a free place to stay. I earned plenty of Virgin Atlantic miles, meaning I have a free trip over there. Combine these two and I'd have a 10-day vacation virtually free.

Now, I know what you're saying is something like, "suck it up, @sshole; you just got off of a 4-month vacation." Well, this is true, but I spent most of the four months working on my house. I'm not upset about that, just jealous about this.

Unfortunately my work feels differently AND it would be awkward to really push them on this. So, alas, she's off to Greece and I'm off to the metro. To the office. To the extreme I rock the mike like a vandal...

Excellent Cover Song

2006-09-12T09:17:00.000-05:00

Certainly adds a whole new meaning to the song for me.

Mat Weddle - Hey Yah on Transbuddha

Just a good, good song for a nice, cool Tuesday morning.

Enjoy.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2006-08-25T08:41:00.000-05:00

It's my birthday tomorrow, and I've nearly overlooked it, what with working on the house and all. But I have good news: the house is almost done and life should be returning to normal then. Maybe I'll even get to have a housewarming party.

You see, the problem with remodeling a basement is this: you always end up fixing some other guy's problems. For instance, when you do the electrical, you end up rewiring half of the upstairs outlets too. Like where the previous guy was adding an outlet so, when he ran the wire, he accidentally drilled up through the hardwood floors, instead of in between the wall. Then, rather than try again, he just drills a hole into the baseboard and up to the outlet. Things like this, and so many more.

Not to mention, getting rid of all the demolished stuff is a pain in the @ss as well. You need to bin it, bag it, or bundle it, and when you're talking drywall, wood, and metal studs, it gets to be a chore.

And my dog keeps giving my roommate poison ivy. We've got to fix that b/c she jumped down my throat last night when I got home. So not in the mood. Plus he just LOVES to lay under the pine trees. Read: sap-covered dog. Those things are SO gone.

Anyway, not an excuse, just an explanation. Talk to you all soon.

The Long Trip Home (Saturday 4/15/2006)

2006-06-11T13:01:00.000-05:00

Saturday the 15th. My homecoming day. And my GodDaughter’s 1st birthday party. Can’t wait. Well I arrive at the airport to find out that I can’t get the VAT refund for my camera I bought because those f*ckers that sold it to me didn’t give me the right form. Bastards. It’s not off to a good start, but I remind myself it’s only money, and I’m finally going to see all my friends.

Basically, I watch 4 movies and drink PLENTY of water on my way home. I watched:
• Aeon Flux
• Just Friends
• Transporter 2, and
• Chicken Little

The movies were okay, and the water allowed me to NOT pass out, as I have been wont to do on flights lately. Anyway.

Kristen picked me up at the airport. It was SO good to see her, and to know that soon I’d see the rest of my friends. Plus, you’ve gotta love a girl that brings tequila to the airport for you…

Ireland - Day 16 (Friday 4/14/2006)

2006-06-11T13:00:00.000-05:00

Click this link to view photos.

From Ballygally it was a nice leisurely drive south along the coast to Belfast. I have to admit, the thought of hanging out alone in Belfast did make me a bit nervous, but looking back, it was a great experience. I made my way into town and tried my best to get as close to the center as possible. After a bit of trying, I gave up and parked.

But hey, guess what? I was right down the street from the bus tour I had signed up for. Lucky me! So I hopped on the bus tour and enjoyed the ride. I’ll say it again: there is no better way to get a feel for a city in such a short time than to take a bus or walking tour.

All in all, Belfast is a great city, even with all the signs of “the Troubles” around. The battle between the Protestants and the Catholics is still going on today, but not anywhere near as badly as in the past, when the “Peace Walls” were truly necessary. These were huge walls that were used to separate the two groups of people, and you’ll see these throughout the city. Strange.

Probably the most impressive thing about Belfast is all the painted murals on the buildings. These paintings vary in content, though most are admittedly about the troubles or are political in nature, but they are pretty much all very well done.

Another cool thing I saw from the bus was this giant fish statue which apparently had the history of the city on it. Of course, trying to find it once I got off the bus was another story. After walking around for quite some time, I was able to find it and snap a few photos. This thing was cool.

What’s the one thing everyone wants to do in Belfast? Have a pint, of course! But I couldn’t. It was Good Friday. Oh well, the food was good, though. So I dropped all my books off at some used book store, hopped in the car, and left for the drive back to the Dublin Airport.

The drive was uneventful, and a lot quicker than I thought, so when I arrived at the airport I was too early to check in. So I waited. And then I was able to check in, but I couldn’t check my bags. What’s up with this place? And then I misplaced my bag of presents. Now I’m really upset. Luckily I found them later at the airline counter.

The VAT places were closed, so I just waited at the terminal for my uneventful flight into Gatwick, where I took the tram to the south terminal, then the Gatwick Express to Victoria Station, and then the tube to Baker Street, where I met a drunken Kelly and Derek. A long walk back to their flat and I was able to deliver to them my old DVD player that I’d been lugging around Ireland for 16 days. How many people can say that their DVD player has seen all of Ireland?

Ireland - Day 15 (Thursday 4/13/2006)

2006-06-11T12:59:00.001-05:00

Click this link to view photos.

Today started out as (another) rainy day. A good day to drink whiskey. So, after a leisurely morning, it was off to the Old Bushmills Distillery located, aptly enough, nearby in the town of Bushmills. Apparently this place is the oldest licensed distillery, and its license dates all the way back to 1608.

The tour was informative, and the 12 year-old special reserve, available only at the distillery, was good. Still, whiskey has never been my favorite drink so I kept it to one before driving down the eastern coast roads into the town of Ballygally, if you could even call it a town. It’s basically just a series of buildings along the shore. Regardless, the water is blue and the hotel is nice (aside from lying by telling me in the hotel welcome guide they’ve got wireless and wireless cards available).

This is a good place to relax. Basically I plan on spending the rest of the day figuring out a way to get all my gear back home. I like Tetris, so I should like this, too, right?

Ireland - Day 14 (Wednesday 4/12/2006)

2006-06-11T12:59:00.000-05:00

Click this link to view photos.

Well, I’ve been waiting for this day, the day where I get to see the two things I’ve most wanted to see: the Giant’s Causeway and Carrick-a-Rede. And, guess what? It’s raining! Yeah, that sucks, but I’ll go anyway.

I set off from Londonderry about 8:00 AM heading through Limavady on the A2, switching to the A37 into Coleraine. From there I pass through the town I’ll be spending the night in, Portrush, on my way to my first stop, Carrick-a-Rede. The coast road puts me back on roads that I like most. Countryside is nice, but sheer cliffs and crashing waves do it best for me.

I arrive at Carrick-a-Rede only to find that I’m early. Now, Carrick-a-Rede is this rope bridge, suspended 25 meters above sea level, that is used every year for the fishermen to get to the best spots to catch salmon. You see, Carrick-a-Rede is the basalt “island” that you are walking to, and the name stands for “rock-in-the-road” and the “road” is the path of those pesky salmon. Go get ‘em, fishermen.

So, anyway, I’m early, so I walk around the other way down to the coast. I’m glad I did; the waves crashing against the rocky shore was quite a site, and luckily, the rain let up enough so that I wasn’t slipping and sliding all the way down to the shore. There were even these little caves to explore, though I didn’t go too far; the tide was coming in. Last thing I need is to get stuck in some cave, by myself, without any tequila. Besides, the rope bridge was opening.

Quite a crowd for a stormy Wednesday morning. The trek to the bridge is about a half-mile, but affords you nice views of the shoreline. And, once you get to the bridge, you cross one at a time across this bridge. What a rush, looking down 82 feet to the crashing waves as the bridge hops and swings. Nice. Unfortunately, much of the “island” was closed off so I made my way back to the shore and headed for my second stop, Giant’s Causeway.

Giant’s Causeway is a series of hexagonal basalt columns, formed by volcanic activity some 60 million years ago. Quite a site, despite the rain. Another long, downhill walk and I was there. Unfortunately the rain chose this moment to pick up, so getting some photos was a bit difficult. I will say it was a bit of a letdown; it is, after all, just a bunch of rocks. But mostly I think the letdown was due to the weather. Maybe next time.

On the way back from the Giant’s Causeway I stopped at an old castle perched on another small island. Pieces of the castle fell into the sea years ago, but much of it was left, so that was quite a sight, walking through the old hallways, and exploring the small cave beneath the foundation.

Back in the surf-town of Portrush, the place was deserted. And it stayed that way, all night. So I don’t have much to give you. But I will say this: I’ll bet this place is bumpin’ during the, um, surfing months. The waves roll right up to the town, along nice beaches, and there’s a small “amusement park” in town. It’d be a nice place to visit later in the year, but I’ll bet a bit expensive.

Tomorrow, the Old Bushmills Distillery and the rest of the Antrim Coast…

Ireland - Day13 (Tuesday 4/11/2006)

2006-06-11T12:58:00.000-05:00

Click this link to view photos.

Looks a bit rainy today. Not too bad, though. Seems most of the rains have gone. Today I’m driving north from Sligo, then south east along the shore of Lough Erne (a big lake), and then north again into the walled town of Londonderry, or Derry (depending on who you talk to).

And just like that I left the Republic of Ireland behind me and was in Northern Ireland. There were no walls, no checkpoints, not even a “Welcome to Northern Ireland” sign that I recall, nothing that I might have imagined would be there to denote the change. Unless you noticed the slight change in gas prices listed at the stations, you’re best chance would be to notice the signs now list distances in miles and miles per hour, not kilometers and kilometers per hour. Try doing 30 k.p.h. through town. Heh. You might then notice if you go to buy things that the currency is no in Pounds Sterling, not the Euro, though you might not; many of the places take the Euro as well. So your best bet is to head into a pub and have a look at the beers they have. Sure, Guinness is still there, but you’ll see Harp now as well, and Bulmer’s Cider is replaced with Magner’s Cider, though I think they must be the same manufacturer b/c the bottle is too similar to be coincidence (or not be some form of infringement). But, regardless, I was in Northern Ireland.

Londonderry, or Derry as I believe the anti-British would prefer it, is this town, once again on the water, that has a portion of the town ensconced within an old wall. It was fun to walk around the town, atop the wall, enjoying the views.

Once that was done it was another relaxing evening spent planning my tomorrow and reading. That was followed by, you guessed it, television and bed.

Ireland - Day 12 (Monday 4/10/2006)

2006-06-11T12:57:00.000-05:00

Click this link to view photos.

Monday was another relaxing day. Rather than do ALL the driving I had planned I instead drove basically straight from Westport to Sligo, where W.B. Yeats spent a lot of time. Once I found my hotel and checked in I drove out to see Yeats’ grave, which was pretty much what you’d expect: a stone in a churchyard. But it was nice to see anyway.

After that I drove into town and walked around a bit before grabbing some grub. That was quickly followed up with nothing, and I do mean nothing, but some relaxing at the hotel. I know, that’s pretty boring, but PARTS of this vacation need to seem like a vacation. One thing I will say is that my hotel used to be a hospital, and is located on what used to be called Mental Hospital Lane. Fitting. See you tomorrow…

Ireland - Day 11 (Sunday 4/09/2006)

2006-06-11T12:54:00.000-05:00

Click this link to view photos.

Well, I’m writing this from another posh hotel, sitting here in my VERY comfortable bathrobe. Gotta love it. I woke up a bit later than usual this morning, around 8 or so, feeling a bit, well, worse for wear. But it was worth it. I had a blast last night. Besides, the two bottles of water I bought yesterday should go a long way to making me feel better.

I was on the road by 9:30 today and, while that’s a bit later than usual, it’s plenty of time for today’s easy day. All I had to do today was make the trip from Galway, through the Connemara region, past Clifden, and into Westport. Even if it wasn’t already a light day, my hangover would quickly make is such.

The drive was uneventful. The land, with its many little lakes and such, is nice, but just not as awe-inspiring as some of the other drives. So basically I just drove, with very little stopping. I did briefly stop to stretch my legs and use the restroom at this waterside abbey. It was quite nice, but I didn’t feel like paying so I moved on.

Eventually I rolled into Westport. Nice enough town. I was able to walk through it after checking into my hotel. It even has a pharmacy named after me. That’s right, check it out people. I walked around, looking for a place for some average pub food, and I got it. It was just what the doctor ordered.

Then it was back to the hotel to check some email and relax. Truly a nice, relaxing day. Maybe I’ll hit the spa and order room service later. Then again, maybe I’ll just go to bed. Who knows?

Ireland - Day 10 (Saturday 4/08/2006)

2006-06-09T09:54:00.000-05:00

Click this link to view photos.

Saturday. Two things are nice about today: one, I don’t have to pack my gear up before I head out (since I’m in this hotel for two days), and two, I don’t have to drive anywhere today. Today I’m meeting my bus around 9:40 right in front of the hotel, and from there it will take me to my 10:30 ferry ride out to the biggest of the Aran Islands: Inishmore. And, so far, it’s looking a mite bit better than yesterday in terms of weather. Let’s hope it holds…

I saw a nice double rainbow while waiting in the parking lot of the hotel for my bus ride to the ferry. That’s something worth putting up with the intermittent rain to see. The bus, almost full, picked me up and I grabbed my seat (one of the flip-down seats in the handicapped area). The bus ride was uneventful, as was the ferry ride out to the island, except for the fact that it was HOT and I needed to remove my jackets to keep from passing out, which quickly reminded me how dehydrated I was. We’ll need to do something about that.

Stepping off the ferry I was fully prepared to walk to Dun Aengus, the walled ring fort further up the island, but somehow one of the many van hires talked me into taking a ride with him. I’m glad I did. It was much more relaxing than walking. Dun Aengus was cool. It’s this cliff-side ring fort, and the cliffs are much like the Cliffs of Moher. Granted, they aren’t as tall as the Cliffs of Moher, but the one thing they definitely had going for them: NO RAILINGS. How cool is that? You could get right up to the edge. While I was up there I saw a familiar face: the guy I gave a ride in Kilkenny (from the Dunmore Caves). How weird is that?

I spent some time here, taking a few photos for people, as well as taking a few for myself. Then it was time to make the trek back down to the base where I grabbed some much-needed water and awaited the return of the van. One of the girls (of a pair) that I helped with a photograph thanked me again, so we struck up a conversation. She and her friend were from New York, one a dental hygienist, the other runs a bar. They were very nice and it was good to have someone to talk to as we journeyed in the van to the edge of the island and back again, stopping at a few places.

We grabbed the ferry home and, rather than take the bus just to my hotel, I took it all the way into the city and we decided to party a bit. It was, after all, Saturday night. So I had a pint while they got ready at the hotel. Then, after they joined me, it was time for a bite to eat, followed by another bar, where we stayed for quite some time.

As I was getting worried about catching a cab back to the hotel we left that bar at closing time and found another closer to where the cabs were. Around 2 AM it was time to say our goodbyes and I was lucky to catch a cab all the way back to the hotel, though I made him pay for it by chatting his ear off. Then, tired, it was time for bed, after a few drunk dials of course. Gotta keep in touch, right? Maybe the girls from tonight and I will keep in touch. Could be one more stop on my tour when I get home. You never know. Well, until tomorrow…

Ireland - Day 9 (Friday 4/07/2006)

2006-06-09T09:52:00.000-05:00

Click this link to view photos.

I awoke today outside of Adare to more rain. Blah. Let’s hope it quickly passes as it has the past few days. Time for a quick and painless checkout, some brief glances at the itinerary, and a fuel stop. I’m to head out to the Burren and the Cliffs of Moher today. I’m looking forward to it, as long as the rain stops.

That out of the way, I’m on the road again around 8:30. I brave the rush-hour traffic going into…and out of Limerick. That’s the worse part of this vacation. Well, that and the fact that most of the hotel employees aren’t Irish, and don’t speak very good English. But seriously, I told them I was going to be here and they have my itinerary; can’t they just tell people to walk to work while I’m here? You’d think so.

Anyway, I pass Bunratty Castle on the way out of Limerick. It’s nice, but I’m not really interested right now. Not with the Cliffs of Moher on the schedule. Little did I know that the Cliffs of Moher weren’t all that easy for me to find. They’re cliffs, right? Big ones, too? Then why can’t I find them? Well, I’ll tell you why: seems some locals in Liscanor want you to think that their town has the cliffs (though they don’t), so they have a sign going into town pointing you to the “Cliffs of Moher” and then on the way out of town they have another sign pointing back the way you came to the “Cliffs of Moher.” Bastards, all of them. But after I figured out that the real cliffs were about 3 miles further down the road all was well.

I parked my car and made my way up to the tower that sits atop the cliffs. At the time the weather was nice, and I was congratulating myself on my good fortune…until I took my camera out. That’s when the cold, the wind, and the rain came. So there we were, a bunch of tourists, huddled at the base of this tiny tower, amidst the cold, wind, and rain, waiting for it to stop…which it did after about 15 minutes. And it…was…worth…it.

This place was pretty cool, even with all the tourists. While I couldn’t quite picture it as the Cliffs of Insanity from “The Princess Bride” I don’t quite doubt it either. Anyway, walking back and forth along the cliffs was breathtaking (as is a lot of Ireland, it seems), though you can’t walk the entire section, as a lot of it is private property. Imagine owning that. Lucky. I did, however, break a few rules to head a bit further down the cliffs and snap a nice self-portrait.

That completed I made my way to the car and drove further into the Burren along the Coast Road. Piece of advice: if the time is available, always choose the Coast Road (whichever one it may be), as it will dazzle you. The drive was nice and there were plenty of cows to meet and greet along the way.

From there it was time for the drive into…and out of Galway. Seems yet again my hotel is outside of the city. About eight miles outside of town this time. No bother, though, since I have some writing to catch up on. That, AND I need to do laundry. Yep, I’m starting to smell.

So, I settle in to this very posh hotel, call Kristen to check in, and head down to the basement to do my own laundry. Hey, it’s cheap (free, in fact, minus the one euro for the detergent), and relaxing. I read my book to the sounds of the machines in one ear and the rains in the other. Looks like going back into town wouldn’t have been fun, anyway.

After that it’s to the pub for a pint (or two) before my 7 o’clock dinner reservation. Like I said: this place is posh. And my meal proved it. Forty Euro fixed fee meal, with a few choices. But, man, was it worth it. I started with a nice salad, followed it up with a broth soup, and for the main course got a steak. Nice. A glass of red wine went along with the meal. And for dessert I had this fudge cake that was the best fudge cake…ever. Not that I’ve had much fudge cake in my life, mind you, but still it was good. Speaking of posh, the music in the background, piano music that I thought was some modern hits piano solo album, was actually a bloke on a piano. How appropriate that he played “All by Myself” while I was there, staring around at all the old couples. Cute, dude, real cute.

Such a good meal behind me, it was back to my room for a bit more light reading, some television, and finally, sleep. Big day tomorrow. Can’t wait (again)…

Ireland - Day 8 (Thursday 4/06/2006)

2006-06-09T09:51:00.000-05:00

Click this link to view photos.

While the Ring of Kerry is the most popular drive in all of Ireland, the Dingle Peninsula (at least so far, in this humble writer’s opinion) takes the cake as the most beautiful. There are beautiful mountains, deserted beaches, and stunning cliffs. In the middle of one such mountain, above one such beach, atop one such cliff is a monument claiming: “Some Lands touch the Heart, Dingle touches the Soul.” Nothing could be more true.

I set off from Tralee around 8 AM, amidst scattered raindrops, past the Blennerville windmill, and into the Slieve Mish mountain range. I’m hoping the rain stays light, or disappears altogether, and for the most part, I’m not disappointed.

Just past the village of Camp I turn left and make my way slowly to Inch, where I’m greeted with breathtaking views, and one of the most beautiful rainbows I’ve ever seen. From there I return to the main road, through Anascaul, and into Dingle. Dingle is nice, but I’m not done driving so I pass it by on my way to more beautiful vistas.

Just past Ventry I encounter the beehive huts of early Christian hermits. Man these folk could pick their location. This place was gorgeous. From there, just past Dunquin, I’m amidst gorgeous views of the Blasket Islands. What would normally be a fairly short and easy drive turns into a stop-and-go adventure as I search for places to pull the car over and take some more photographs. I pass up a trip out to the Blasket Islands and settle on a visit to the Gallarus Oratory, a stone building built over a thousand years ago that remains water-tight to this very day.

There are a few more places on my list that I COULD see, but as I’ve been driving in and out of heavy rains all day, I decide to continue the loop on R559 back into Dingle. From there I turn left onto R560, instead of the way I came, and head up through the Connor Pass.

I’m glad I did. The pass is this stunning single-lane road that winds up and over the mountain and drops down onto the sweeping beaches of the north shore. There’s nothing I’ve seen like these beaches in the States so far; you can drive out onto any number of the beaches and have the whole thing pretty much to yourself, no fees or anything. Now, with the thought of my Dublin car troubles still fresh in my mind, I pass on driving onto the beach and instead park nearby and walk on. Nothing would please me less than braving the beach only to find my car stuck in the sand and buried under the coming tide. Still, it was awesome.

From there it’s back on the roads to Tralee and on to Adare, a small village outside of Limerick. It’s a bit of a longer drive, what with all the truck and tractor traffic, but nothing I can’t handle, and I’m rewarded by a nice drive through Adare, before finding my hotel just on the other side. It’s a nice hotel, and I’m able to grab a pint and some grub, over which I plan tomorrow’s journey and relax.

Tomorrow I’ll find myself off through Limerick on my way to the Burren and the Cliffs of Moher (where “The Princess Bride” and its “Cliffs of Insanity” were filmed). Until tomorrow then…

Ireland - Day 7 (Wednesday 4/05/2006)

2006-06-09T09:42:00.000-05:00

Click this link to view photos.

Another early start and I was on my way out of Killarney for a grand tour of the Ring of Kerry, the most popular drive in all of Ireland. So popular, in fact, that during the high season the road becomes one-way for busses, as busses have a hard time passing each other on the narrow country roads.

I started out heading Northwest along N72 and was immediately greeted with winding roads leading me forward. My first detour was to be around the town of Killorglin. I was to detour south to Lough Caragh to experience some of the areas boglands. Unfortunately, yet again, my tour book wasn’t very specific and I couldn’t find the turnoff. Oh well, boglands don’t sound that exciting anyway, not with my luck with cars lately at least.

It was on to Glenbeigh, where I took a brief rest on a pebble beach. It was a good view as I made my way out onto the beach, crushing the many mussel shells beneath my feet, and staring out at the old fishing equipment. It was a good place to stretch the old legs, but then it was time to move on.

From Glenbeigh I continued along the coast down into a town called Cahersiveen, the birthplace of “the Liberator” Daniel O’ Connel. Unfortunately I missed seeing both HIS house AND the other two “stone houses” that my guidebook pointed out due to heavy weekday traffic. No worries; after all, I wasn’t the one going to work.

A brief turn west, just south of Cahersiveen, and I made my way slowly to Portmagee, a small (very small, in fact) village on the western edge of the ring. It was a good detour. Just at the bottom of a VERY steep village road was a concrete “dock” that delivered a nice view of the port. A few photos and I was on my way.

Back on the main road I continued counter-clockwise around the Ring of Kerry. I took another break in Waterville, simply because the beach there was a joy to look at.

Past Waterville and through Caherdaniel you come to a town called Castletown. I love some of the names here in Ireland. Anyway, a turn inland from Castletown, and another drive up a narrow, compact road delivered me to Staigue Fort, a “fort” cleverly located between two hills with a nice view of the water. These stone circles, while simple, were apparently very effective those thousands of years ago, and I believe it.

But, once again, I chose to marvel only for a moment. It was time to get back on the road. And, speaking of the road, I will say that, once again, I was forced to stop every so often to snap a few shots of the stunning vistas that this area presented to me. It was a gorgeous day and I was lucky to have it. But, for every place I stopped to take a few photographs, yet again there were a dozen where I didn’t stop (or wasn’t able to). Had I stopped everywhere I wanted to I would never have made it around in time; that, or I’d have caused several accidents and been deported.

Anyway, I finished the drive by heading back into Killarney, through the stunning Killarney National Park, and continued my way to Tralee, located further up the west coast of Ireland, poised nicely for my tour tomorrow of the Dingle Peninsula.

Tralee was a nice, small town. Luckily, yet again, there wasn’t much to see, so I was able to relax a bit and take a nice walk around the town, reflecting on the day’s journeys. I stopped in a nice pub and grabbed a pint of Bulmers cider (that stuff is good) and tried another order of the crab claws, apparently a popular item over here. While they weren’t as good as the ones yesterday (and who could expect them to be), they were good, and it was nice to sit outside, all bundled up, and read a bit.

After that I decided to do my own “mini bar crawl” so I grabbed another pint at another pub. Then it was a brief stop at an Internet café to try and keep up with my emails. The one good thing that came of it: on Friday 4/21 we’ll be partying at Clare and Don’s Beach Grill in Arlington for my welcome home party. Can’t wait! After that it was on my way to another pint, but I found some lost lab roaming the streets. I tried calling the number on his collar but kept getting a answering machine, so I left a message and was forced to move on. Besides the mutt was getting impatient with me and seemed to know where he wanted to go. So I tried to put it out of my mind and put another pint in my stomach. It worked.

By this time I was feeling pretty good, and pretty good and hungry, so I tried the Indian restaurant next to the hotel. The food and the glass of wine were good, and were a good end to a good day.

Back in the room I tried making a phone call, but later learned when I went downstairs (because the “operator” wouldn’t pick up) that the owner (of the Comfort Inn, mind you) decided to not allow phone calls from the room. Apparently it was an attempt to prevent people not paying the bills, but don’t you already have their credit card information from check-in? Anyway, I was forced to call from the front desk, but had to leave a message anyway so I went back up to my room and prepared for bed.

Tomorrow…the Dingle Peninsula.

Ireland - Day 6 (Tuesday 4/04/2006)

2006-06-08T08:55:00.000-05:00

By the way, try this link to view photos of my trip to Ireland. It will remain active for awhile, and all the photos are labeled. Enjoy!

Tuesday morning I woke up early (again) and jumped in the car to head south to this small, fishing village called Kinsale. It was nice. From there I headed west along the West Cork Coast. This road was BEAUTIFUL! Just stunning.

Mizen Head is on the southwestern most tip of Ireland and is this gorgeous lighthouse, perched along the Cliffside. I strongly recommend it. And it’s a nice walk, too. It is a bit of a drive to get there, but the sights along the way are great.

From there I stopped briefly in Castletownshend, another small fishing village, where you drive down this steep, winding road, and find yourself at a boat launch along the water. It was early enough that I had it all to myself. It was quite relaxing. All these places I’m telling you about, by the way, can be Google’d pretty easily. In fact, I’m doing it now just to make sure I don’t give you any false information.

Anyway, I stayed in Killarney for the night. There’s not much to this town. I’d recommend trying Kinsale instead. Besides, what’s with all of their signs missing letters? That’s just weird.

There wasn’t much to see here, but I will say that the crab claws and lamb stew at the Laurel’s Singing Pub was the best food I had during my stay in Ireland. However, I will say that there is nothing worse for someone with A.D.D. than staring at a sweet-smelling, delicious-looking bowl of lamb stew that is too hot to eat. Bummer.

Ireland - Day 5 (Monday 4/03/2006)

2006-06-08T08:43:00.000-05:00

Monday brought another early start (7AM). I watched a bit of television first, where these guys were making a HUGE blender, in which they were going to make a bunch of smoothies for some fitness run. It was pretty cool. A quick snack for breakfast and I was on my way.

I had a bit of trouble getting out of Kilkenny, mainly because I didn’t know where the hell I was going, but I eventually made it and was on my way to the Rock of Cashel, a 4th century fortification, perched elegantly atop this huge hill. Kings and bishops hung out here for perhaps 900 years, until around the 17th century, where it began to fall into disrepair. But still, this place was IMPRESSIVE.

By the way, try this link to view photos of my trip to Ireland. It will remain active for awhile, and all the photos are labeled. Enjoy!

So, moving on to Blarney Castle. This place is hard to find, but once you find it, it’s SO much more than just kissing the Blarney Stone. The grounds are immense, and the castle is impressive. There’s even a small cave system that, had I had a flashlight, I would have loved to check out.

And of course I HAD to kiss the Blarney Stone. I know, I know. You’re thinking, “But, Jason, people PISS on that thing!” Well, maybe they do, but what do you think happens every time you follow the old “5-second rule” when something falls on the ground, or what happens every time you eat at McDonalds? Yep, that’s right, I’ve had worse, and now I’ve had the Blarney Stone. Deal with it.

Cork wasn’t too far down the road, but once again I had trouble finding the hotel. Thank God I learned how to work my cell phone. Nothing like rolling into town, calling the hotel, and driving around trying to find it. Without that cell phone, I’d be lost. This time the hotel was right in town, on the water, and included parking. That’s what I like.

Time to explore, but first… a haircut. That bald spot was really getting to me, so I found a barber and had him shave it all off. No more hair. It felt good. That being done I walked around, chatted up some Canadian living there giving surveys, and stopped in at the Hi-B pub for a Beamish. Yummy. I didn’t feel much like doing any actual sight-seeing, so mainly I just walked around.all day. I did get some lovely photos, though. See you all tomorrow…

Ireland - Day 4 (Sunday 4/02/2006)

2006-06-08T08:04:00.000-05:00

Sunday morning I woke early in Waterford and headed out to the Waterford Crystal Factory to see just what was SO special about this glass that would cause women’s legs to spread at the mere though of getting some. It was closed when I got there so I waited in the parking lot for a bit. After a few minutes it was opened and I went inside, fully expecting to see chiseled men in loin cloths making glass vases. Lucky for me this was NOT the case.

I bought my ticket and perused the gallery and sales floor while waiting for the first tour to start. What I WAS greeted by, instead of the Chippendales’ Dancers, was a room full of gorgeous, but expensive, glassware. Okay, so it was crystal, not glass. And it was thick and heavy, which was nice. But some of it cost more than my Jeep. Still, it was cool to see the craftsmanship shine through.

The tour started and I learned all about the different jobs that went into making these works of art, from the Blowers to the Cutters and on to the Etchers, each doing his or her job with precision. The tour was informative, but not too informative, or too long to the point of boredom. Once it was over I did a little shopping and then hopped back in my car for a little more driving.

I headed north to Jerpoint Abbey. This place, built in the 1100’s for the Benedictine monks, was completely self-sustaining, with everything these praying dudes would need to survive, even an infirmary. Of course, not much was left now, but it was eerie to stroll the grounds and think about all the history.

After my visit to the abbey was complete I drove north again, through Kilkenny (where I’d be staying), and a bit further to the Dunmore Caves, very old limestone caves that were the site of a Viking massacre back in the day. These caves were small, but gorgeous, and the thought of a bunch of smelly men with axes roaming through them in search of another kill was interesting.

It was here that I gave Sean, from Montanna, a ride back into town. Seems he took an internship in Dublin and was spending the weekend traveling. Sounds like fun. After driving back to the hotel and catching a cab, Sean left the scene at the train station and I took the taxi the rest of the way into town. Once again, you see, I’d been cursed with poor planning, and my hotel was a good walk outside of town. But, hey, it WAS walkable, as I proved later that day.

I strolled around town for a bit, spending a decent amount of time on the grounds of Kilkenny Castle. Mind you, I didn’t actually go IN the castle, just AROUND the castle. The insides of castles tend to bore me, AND they cost money. One thing about Kilkenny I noticed was that there are TONS of churches and abbeys around town. You could spend days visiting them all, and it’s not a very big town. Apparently it was a town full of citizens in need of a LOT of help from the Lord.

After strolling around town and buying a few things I started my walk back to the hotel. It wasn’t late but I was tired. On the way back I stopped in at the Langton, a supposedly famous pub, for a pint and a snack. The pint was good, as was the snack, but there was this group of Irish that just would…not…shut…up. Now, I love the Irish accent, but when you’ve got a crowd of five Irish, drunk off their asses, talking loud enough for the whole bar to hear them, it gets old. Very old.

Anyway, I finished my pint and continued on back to the hotel for some dinner. Unfortunately the service at the hotel was LOUSY. The pay-to-play internet access was broken, and they wouldn’t give my money back even though they knew it was broken but just didn’t feel like putting a sign up. And I sat in the restaurant for a good 15 minutes without anyone approaching the table. So I tried the bar and that was just as big of a debacle.

Well, I put in my complaint, and they made me feel like it was MY fault, so I headed down the street and ate at another place, and read my book. I did a lot of reading in Ireland. After dinner I returned home and prepared for tomorrow’s journey, which was to include the Blarney Stone and Cork. Maybe the service will be better.

It's been too Long

2006-06-07T09:41:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the delay. I'll catch you up over the next few posts, but here's what we'll need to cover briefly:

I'll tell you about the rest of my Ireland trip.
I'll tell you that I bought a house!
You'll find out that the Backyard Bash was a success.
I'll fill you in on my trip to the beach,
which includes some trials and tribulations with the Jeep.
Finally, I'll let you know just how my time off is going, and how all of the above affects my travel plans

But I'll start by saying this: yesterday was 6-6-06. It was also my buddy Karl's birthday. I'm now going to Hell (it's okay, I own property there, and the bus company). Now, ordinarily everyone tries to get their friends DRUNK enough to PUKE on their birthday. Well, that gets old. So I decided to try and get Karl SOBER enough to DRIVE on his birthday.

So, after some vodka and sprites at the house, and some beers at the hash, we found ourselves at a bar in Tyson's. It was here that my plan was to spring into action, and it required all my friends to pull it off. Well, at least they had to be in on it to pull it off. I started with a Shirley Temple for Karl, and had a female friend ask for a taste. She exclaimed, "Damn, that's strong! Can't you taste all the Vodka?" Karl replied that he couldn't. I hope not. We followed that up with many, many, many "shooters," all the while asking him for his secret to holding his liquor. "Plenty of water," he said. Right, buddy. Try "plenty of girly drinks."

I finally broke down and told him after we got home last night. He loved it. Next time, though, I'm going to by myself NA drinks and shooters, too. That way I don't have a hangover for him to make fun of. Happy Birthday, Karl.

U-Haul Hell!

2006-05-09T10:21:00.000-05:00

So I finished moving my gear out of my old place, and completed my first week as a “couch monkey.” The loading and unloading itself, other than the half-ton pool table, went very smoothly; many thanks to my wonderful friends who helped. Unfortunately, getting the TRUCK from the house, to the storage unit, and back to the rental agency, was another matter entirely.

I picked up the truck, already running, from the U-Haul facility in Falls Church with nary an issue. And the drive from there home, all of 8 miles, went well also. It wasn’t until we decided to move the truck from our first parking location that things got a bit ugly. To make it easier to load the gear from the upstairs, I parked out front, and Karl and I loaded all that gear. Then, to make it easier to load the gear from the downstairs, we were going to move the truck further back on the side, all of 16 feet.

Now, 8 miles, no problem, so logic would say 16 feet, also no problem, right? Wrong. Not when you have to push it because the damn thing wouldn’t start. Now, I don’t know diesels, but I’m fairly certain that the whole put the key in the ignition and turn it thing still applies. Well, I called the rental place, and they told me to call roadside assistance, which I did. An hour later a grizzled old man shows up. He tells me that he fixed the same truck last week, the very same 200000 mile “cross-country traveler.” Well, he sprays ether in the air intake (I think; I should have the luxury of not having to know) to start it, then tells me to keep the thing running because it shouldn’t be on the road.

Well, we continue the load with the damn thing running, reeking of diesel, and head off to the storage facility. Unfortunately the loading dock is indoors, preventing said advice from being followed. After sitting for a half-hour or so, all me gear unloaded and neatly filed in storage, it was time to leave. And everyone did, except Turtle, Wanda, Nub, and myself. Because the truck wouldn’t start. Again. Less than 5 hours after I picked it up.

This time the rental agency wouldn’t even pick up the phone, so it was ANOTHER call to roadside assistance, and ANOTHER hour wait for the mechanic. But after the hour wait the roadside assistance people call back and tell me that Henry’s Towing will be ANOTHER hour, because they’ve got a call ahead of me. So we wait for that hour. Then I get a call from Henry’s Towing telling me that they’re just now getting on the road. From Baltimore! So we’re going to have to wait ANOTHER hour? This would bring the wait time up to 4 hours in a 7-hour period of not being able to use the truck, but what are we supposed to do?

Luckily Turtle is a bit of a gear-head, and, not too long after, is finally lucky enough to get the thing running. Also, luckily enough, I’ve pared my gear down enough, either by donating it, selling it, or flat out giving it away, that I only have one load. This means we can take this non-roadworthy P.O.S. back to where it came from and get our money back, right? Wrong! Because when we get there, Steve, the “manager,” thinks otherwise.

He feels that because I was able to “do something with the truck” that I should not get a refund. I try to tell Steve what I was able to “do with the truck” was watch over it for 4 hours and make sure it didn’t go anywhere, under its own power or otherwise. I thought about telling Steve what I’d like HIM to do with the truck, but decided not to.

I still plan on writing to U-Haul with a strongly worded message about their customer service. Steve obviously didn’t care about one individual because he had people rolling in there like mad while we waited, but maybe the district, or even the national office, will feel otherwise. Bottom line: DO NOT RENT FROM U-HAUL. You know why? Because while we were stuck there at the loading dock, blocking other movers, a shiny new Budget rental truck, probably all of 1-year old, backed in next to my beat-up, used-up, washed up U-Haul truck. And you know what happened after THEY unloaded THEIR gear? That’s right. They drove away. THAT shouldn’t be the most impressive part about ANY story.

26.2 for the 1st Time

2006-05-05T09:10:00.000-05:00

Well, last weekend I was in Nashville with Kristen to watch her sister, Jenny, run her first marathon. I ended up running a bit of it with her, AFTER borrowing someone's shorts to run in. The crowd loved my "I [heart] Toxic Waste" t-shirt, by the way, except for that one lady.

Jenny did a great job. Her attitude throughout the run never wavered, not for a moment, and that's impressive. Plus, please take note, she thinks I'm a saint. Don't laugh. "She thinks I'm a steed!"

Here is her marathon, in her words:

7 months ago I started out on this ridiculous adventure. I hoped to make some new friends and get in shape by joining a running group which eventually turned into training for a marathon. As each 7am Saturday morning came and went I got one week closer to the marathon. I still don't think it ever truly registered what I was going to do - I just went through the motions each week.

This past Saturday quickly approached and I stood in a room surrounded by 10 people I never knew existed 7 months ago. Everyone was still asleep considering it was 5:30 in the morning, but the nervous energy of the marathon starting in an hour and a half was starting to wake us up. We drove to the start line and stood around for an hour and then we heard it - the gun starting the race. They let each corral go and as we got closer and closer I head comments like "Well, there's no turning back now." It was true - there was no turning back. All the events and the training of the last 7 months came down to the next 5 hours and this moment of stepping over the start line.

I knew there were people waiting at mile 4 so the first 40 minutes was spent enjoying the scenery and taking the experience all in. Watching the people around me, reading their shirts, wondering why they were running and who they were running for. I thought about whether it was their first marathon or if they had run many before. We were keeping up with our desired pace and my 3 running friends were all feeling pretty good. At mile 3 one girl fell back that was having knee problems - she was planning on running the half. Then I saw them! My friends, my husband, my family all at mile 4. I started jumping around like an idiot, screaming their names and waving my arms. My sister's friend Jason (who I now consider a Saint) joined me and ran the next 3 miles with us.

We ran the next few miles and we looped around so that I saw everyone again at 7. Yet again, I looked like a moron screaming their names, but it really didn't matter. I had been running for over an hour and I have 19.2 miles to go. Not too much happened over the next 8 miles. My body was still waking up and adjusting. I was feeling the normal aches and pains in my knees and was keeping a careful monitor of Energy Gel as to not run out too soon. The split between the marathon and half marathon reared it's ugly head at mile 11. A man standing in an Elvis costume instructed, "All you half marathoners to my left, all you complete morons running 26.2 stay to my right." I looked over to the mass crowd of people running the half and then back to my side - it was very lonely. I still had my girls though - the 3 of us were feeling good and cruising right along.

The other side of the road consisted of full runners that were coming back around the loop and they were between miles 17 and 18. I wanted to be there….or at least wanted to know how I would feel at that point. I saw my parents at mile 13 and Jeremy and my friend, David, at mile 14. We started running toward the loop I had been warned about. I believe my coaches words were, "You feel like God has forsaken you. It's lonely, there aren't many people watching, it's bad." Mile 15 I lost my running partners. One girl had a foot injury that was flaring up and our mentor stayed back with her. I was off and alone and knew it was going to be mile 20 before I saw anyone again. How am I going to get through the next 5?

I turned the corner at 16 and up ahead I saw a gentleman in a wheel chair. He was just about completely paralyzed but he moved enough to reach his hand out. He was by himself and incapable of speaking or moving, yet he was out there to support us. Every person ran by and grabbed his hand - thanking him for coming out and supporting the runners. Talk about a moment of perspective and clarity. I kept on trucking through 17 and was surprise to see my parents, sister and her friend Jason waiting at 17. It was at the top of a hill and I was hurting. My reception of them was significantly different than at mile 7. No screaming or jumping around - just forward motion. I got another surprise at 18 seeing my friend's Kate and Henry - Kate decided to run some with me. I don't remember the conversation, but I am sure it wasn't very exciting.

Miles 18 through 20 were the worst - hands down no doubt. I was running along and I started to see people give up. Stopping to walk, sitting on the side of the road, bodies just giving up. I passed over a bridge and looked over to see the finish line - but I had 7 more miles. I climbed another hill and crossed over 20 and saw my family again. This time I started to cry. 6 more miles. Jason joined my to finish the last 6 miles and the wind started to kick into gear. It was bad and straight in our face.

The last part of my run consisted of frustration, confusion, exhaustion, wonder, numbness, tightening of every part of my body, inspiration, emotion of every kind, beer drinking at the 24 mile mark Hash Station!! and awe. Each mile brought a new sight and a new obstacle to overcome. Each mile felt significantly longer than the last. The wind started to get much stronger and my legs weighed about 70 pounds each. Then I saw the 26 mile mark. I turned the next corner only to see the finish line. I started to look around so that I could remember every last detail and get ready for my picture as I crossed the finish line. But it was inevitable....the tears started to stream. People I had never met were screaming my name. At one point I heard someone yell (although it sounded very faint at the time), "I know Jenny, you're almost there." It was someone I had never met before and will never see again, yet those words will always stick with me.

My family waited for me at the finish. I saw Jeremy and hugged him and started to cry. I was done. No more weekly runs, no more getting up before sun rise on Saturday morning, no more getting into bed at 9 on Friday AND Saturday nights. It was done and I will never do it again! Well that's my story - it was a very long one, but I know that I am a better person for taking on this challenge. I love everyone that was involved in supporting me and am very thankful for you.

Ireland - Day 3 (Saturday 4/1/2006)

2006-05-03T08:02:00.000-05:00

Time to catch a flight home. April Fools! Though, at times over the past 2 days, I HAVE felt like going home. But what kind of adventure would it be if nothing happened, and what kind of person would I be if I packed it in the moment something DID happen?

So, my gear is packed; now it’s time to find my car. Easier today than it was yesterday, at least. I schlep my way down to the parking garage and insert my ticket in the machine…payment due…TWENTY-FIVE EUROS?! What happened to eight? Tricksters. Well, I don’t have the bills on my so I head to my car to drop off my gear before I take the time to figure this one out. But I forget my ticket in the machine, so when I return it’s gone. Now this isn’t good.

Luckily it’s not so early that there isn’t anyone in the booth. I make my way to the booth and inform the, yet again, non-Irish worker of my plight. He seems to understand…until he tells me that my card is in the machine, but I didn’t pay. Considering that’s exactly what I just told him it’s nothing to be proud of. At least, when he finally tells me what I owe, it’s only nineteen Euros, so in the end I saved a few Euros, and only at the cost of a few gray hairs and a few lost ones. No big deal there; I need to shave my head soon, anyway.

Getting out of Dublin proves easier than getting into Dublin…until I see that the main road, the M1, is closed. Who closes a highway? On a Saturday? Time to try and find my way around the closure.

That wasn’t fun, but eventually I make my way around the closure and back onto the highway, where I’m going to head north for a bit to see Monasterboice, Newgrange, and the Hill of Tara, before heading south again (AROUND Dublin) and through the Wicklow Mountains, ending up on the southeast coast in Waterford. It’s a lot of driving, but should be fun, AND it should be good practice for my much-anticipated tour of the United States later this year.

One good thing about leaving Dublin so early, well, two good things: not much weekend traffic and I had Monasterboice all to myself. Literally. Aside from the barking dogs on the way in to this tiny cemetery with a single large, round tower, I was all alone, and that was nice. It was a peaceful sort of moment that allowed me to unload the previous days’ troubles and make a fresh start.

After contemplating life, love, and the pursuit of happiness (or just farting around), I got back in the car and made my way to Newgrange. Newgrange was built somewhere around 3000 B.C. and served, quite possibly, as a burial chamber. This giant mound sits atop a hill in the middle of some beautiful country. I should know, since I drove it. Twice. The first time I made it to Newgrange I was informed that, though that monolithic beast in front of me was indeed Newgrange, I had to go back around to the visitor’s center (a 15 mile drive). Apparently I made it to the place where the busses would drop me off, IF I went back around, but not to worry, the busses have their own “secret” route that cuts off, say 14 miles of my necessary journey. Hell, why can’t I go that way? Nonetheless I made the journey, parked my car, bought my admission, and boarded the bus. A few minutes later I was at Newgrange. Again. But it was worth it.

After Newgrange I decided to drive by the Hill of Tara, another large hill surrounded by earthworks. Apparently it’s more impressive from the air. Regardless it was good to get out and stretch the legs. And fall in the mud. And nearly get run over by some Slavic Punks’ gas-powered R/C cars. Putting all that behind me I once again took to the road to loop back south, around Dublin, and through the Wicklow Mountains, on my way to Waterford, home of the famous Waterford Crystal.

The drive around Dublin was, as always (or my idea of always, at least), not the best of drives, but the drive down through the Wicklow Mountains, past Glendalough, and back onto the coast near a town called Antrim was quite a stunning drive. Even when I thought I might be lost, and thought I wouldn’t make it to Glendalough, a site where a bunch of old monks hung out (good choice I must say), I didn’t care. Being lost here wasn’t a problem.

After the mountains, I made my way down, sort of along the coast, through Wexford, which looks like a nice place to stay by the by, and into (eventually) Waterford.

After what will soon become the classic struggle to find my hotel, I’m able to park my car and check into this nice little hotel on the water. Now to find some grub, since it’s a bit late. The pub around the corner has some good food and a nice, pleasant atmosphere. And, if you go, look out for James, my semi-homeless friend I met on my way out of the bar.

I’m not really sure if James is homeless, but he appeared it, and I think he’d just been thrown out of the bar that I just ate at. He offered me some whiskey from his flask as he casually ripped the filters off his Marlboro lights. At first I declined, but he seemed so eager. At times it was difficult to talk to James, the long days of drinking whiskey having apparently done their damage on both his mind and his body. But the conversation was good, and I learned a bit more about the island, and what I should do while I was there. When I got up to leave he pulled his hat off and had me remove this pin of the Irish flag. I obliged, not knowing what it was for, until he offered it to me. I couldn’t possibly take this man’s pin. But he insisted, so I pinned it to my jacket and thanked him profusely. Some people will give anything for someone to talk to. I don’t know if I’m talking about James, or myself, but I will always value that old man’s conversation, and I will always have that pin to remind me. I said my goodbye, and took my leave. A short while later I was back in the hotel, asleep in bed. What a good day.

Ireland - Day 2 (Friday 3/31/2006)

2006-05-03T07:56:00.000-05:00

So, 4 AM, car still there. 8 AM, car GONE. Not clamped, GONE! This sucks, but I can’t really say I didn’t expect it. And I can’t even say that it wasn't entirely my fault. Nothing left to do but spend my entire morning making it right, so I head back to the hotel, hungover like you wouldn’t believe, where I try to inform the two cute, but foreign, hotel employees about my plight.

They tried SO hard to help me, but they seemed to think I wanted a new rental car, not that I wanted to, no, needed to, find my OLD rental car. Looks like I’m on my own on this one. I finally figure out how to get the phones working, so I call my travel reservations (Expedia on this one, I think, or Travelocity) to get the number for the rental car agency, since the information I had was in my damn car. I finally get THAT number, so I call it and inform them of my situation. They SAY they’re going to help me, but to this day I haven’t heard back from them.

Nothing left to do but call 999 (their equivalent of 911) and ask for the local Garda (their equivalent of police). I know it’s not a real emergency, and I feel bad for doing it, but they don’t bat an eyelash at this, and the woman is very helpful. Within a few minutes she calls me back, tells me my car has been clamped, towed, AND clamped again! She gives me the location, the cost (80 Euros), and the number of the clamping agency. Within a few more minutes I’ve called the clamping agency, made my payment (ouch), and began my journey to find my car.

A 10-minute walk later and I’m at my car, without a clamp, and without 80 Euros in my bank account, but it’s good to have that behind me. Time to find valid parking. I make my way back to the parking garage recommended by my hotel, and it is available AND 24-hour, so I think I’m in the clear. I see a sign that says 8 Euro overnight special, so that’s even better. I grab my ticket, park my car, and make my way back out into the light of day. Nothing like wasting an entire morning fixing a dumb mistake, while at the same time trying to rid myself of a wicked hangover. Why is it that you still pee, even when you’re dehydrated? I NEED that water! Luck of the Irish, where are you?

Finally I’m able to begin my day, so I walk down to O’Connell Street and wait for my tour bus to arrive. I booked one of those “hop on, hop off” bus tours around Dublin. A few minutes (okay, several minutes) later I hop on the bus and head up and around O’Connell Street. I hop off at the top end, amidst a light drizzle, and snap a few photos before waiting for the next bus and jumping back on.

From there I head further into town and hop off to check out the Book of Kells. This is some book. I recommend you find out for yourself. I grabbed another bus and hit a few more sights on the tour. I visited the Guinness Factory. Well, I visited the gift shop, at least. I didn’t have the time, or the inclination, to take the tour since I missed out on the morning. I also didn’t take the tour of the Gaol, but I DID get to experience my Guinness bag breaking and spilling its contents out all over the sidewalk. THAT was lovely. Still no Irish Luck. That behind me, I finished the tour and decided to walk for a bit, AFTER dropping off my gear.

Seems the luck wouldn’t be returning today. Everywhere I went I was prevented from seeing much. The Christ Church Cathedral: wedding. Dublin Castle: Teacher’s Awards. Saint Patrick’s Cathedral: Closed. Statue of Molly Malone: Raining (not to mention I got lost on the way there, even WITH my map).

I head back down Fleet Street, to the Temple Bar District, where I grab some Guinness and some grub. I have this dish, called Coddle, that is bacon-wrapped sausage in a cream sauce with carrots and celery. It’s quite good. And the Guinness was good, too. But, still, everywhere I go there don’t seem to be any Irish workers. Where do the Irish work? Everyone seems to be either French, or Slavic of some sort. Weird. I keep hearing my old boss quoting a line from “Pulp Fiction” in my head: English, Mother F*cker, Do You Speak It!?”

Anyway, I leave the bar and find myself in a small crowd. What’s going on? Well, there is this TOTALLY wrecked bloke outside the bar, being helped by his friends. I mean, this guy is out of it: can’t stand, can’t open his eyes, drooling on himself. These people need to call an ambulance, which is exactly what this 8-year old girl is yelling at them. I hope they take her advice.
I spend the rest of the early evening walking around the area taking some photos, but my heart just isn’t in it so, after awhile, I head back to the hotel and go to bed. Maybe tomorrow, when I leave Dublin behind me, my luck will improve. We’ll see…

Ireland - Day 1 (Thursday 3/30/2006)

2006-05-02T19:40:00.000-05:00

The following were written daily, during my vacation in Ireland, hence some of the odd tenses and wording.

Today was the day to drop off my keys, ship out one last box back to the States, gas up the car, and say goodbye to England forever. Well, for awhile, at least. Unfortunately, for some odd reason, BOTH my credit card and my bank card were denied when I tried to buy a new laptop on the internet, and they were further denied when I tried to ship my box home later, forcing me to forego the computer and pay cash for the shipping. Luckily I had the cash on hand. I didn't give it a further thought, for my plan was to drive east to Gatwick Airport, outside London, and catch a flight to Dublin Ireland, returning my car along the way.

Well, I stuck to the plan admirably, only making a few wrong turns, before dropping off my car and getting a ride to the airport. The car checked out fine, and I checked in (at the airport) fine as well, albeit a few hours early. Nothing left to do but grab a pint and some food and eventually make my way down to the terminal.
The bar food was adequate, as most bar food was, and security didn't pose much of a problem for me (as it sometimes does for some odd reason), but getting on the flight, or even to the proper terminal, was. It seems my flight, scheduled for 1645, was delayed until...1645. How's that work? I don't know. Apparently the airline employees didn't know either. Nor did they know which terminal the flight would be leaving from. It wasn't until 1650 or so that I heard, "Last call for flight such-and-such. Last call." When was first call? Well, regardless, I made the flight and began my journey to Ireland, fully prepared for 16 days of the best the luck of the Irish could deliver.

Well, apparently the luck of the Irish was lacking. After I got off the plane I couldn't find my car (even though it was a Murray's Europcar). And after I found my car I couldn't find someone that spoke good enough English (no, they didn't speak Gaelic either) to help me into town to find my hotel. Nor could I get my cell phone, recently topped up, to work either. NOT a good start.

Finally, when I thought I had a good idea of where I was going, what do I hit but traffic. Tons of traffic. Not a big deal; just relax. It's a good thing I'm used to this type of driving, though the markings in kilometers take some getting used to.

Once in town, things don't look up. There's no place to park when I finally find the street with my "hotel" on it, so I circle the block several times before giving up and parking somewhat illegally. Still, I'm not worried, and the "concierge" at the "hotel" is again, through a thick Indian accent, able to direct me to a parking garage a half-mile away. I put those things in quotes because the "concierge" was nothing more than a barely-speaking student and the "hotel" was barely more than a townhouse. Still, not a big deal. I make my way to the parking garage, but it's full. Fully flustered at this point I find a parking spot on the Quay (River) road and unload my gear.

Next up: time to score some Euros at the ATM. Unfortunately the first ATM, located in a Spar (like a 7-11), is packed, so I head to the other one nearby, which declines my bank card. So I head back to the Spar, where my card is, again, declined. Now I recently sold my house, and made a tidy profit on the deal, so why can I not get to my money? Now THAT's annoying. Luckily I'm able to use my credit card to purchase a calling card to call the US number (as there is no overseas number) on the back of my bank card. Then it's back to the "hotel" to square that away.

About an hour later, after figuring everything out, I'm on my way to my first Dublin pub, money in my pocket, and a thirst in my throat for some fine Guinness Stout. Hopefully that will cure what ails me. Considering I landed at around 6 PM and it's now almost 10 PM, it may take more than one of those fine, Irish pints. I hope the rest of my vacation isn't as bad as this. I mean, it couldn't get any worse could it? Don't answer that.

So the pub is packed, the music is good, and the Guinness is LOVELY. Another good thing: no indoor smoking in ALL of the Republic of Ireland. How nice! I only hope my car doesn't get clamped or, worse yet, towed; I'll make sure I get up early to prevent that. But I put those thoughts behind me and begin to take some notes on my travels, for use later to write this. So, there I am, Guinness in one hand, pen in the other, writing down my trials and tribulations, when I notice a lot of people drinking Heineken and Coors Light, with others drinking Miller and Bud. What the F*ck? Nooooo clue on that one.

Things are looking up. Beer in the hand, music in background, when suddenly that music betrays me: REM comes on. Drown it out, Murray. Ignore it. Michael Stipes couldn't REALLY be the Devil, could he? Yes...he...could. But they quickly follow it up with "Linger" so I'm quickly feeling better.

I'm suddenly chatting with two blokes, Denis and Ciaran, who think I look like the guitarist from Genesis. I mean, who these days even knows that Genesis EXISTED let alone what the members looked like (aside from Phil Collins, of course)? I'll have to look that one up. But the guys are fun to chat with, including the talks about politics (Katie would have a FIT with these two), and I'm happy to hear that Ciaran is soon to have a baby. Well, his wife is anyway.

I've had a Guinness, a Murphy's, and a Bulmer's Cider, the bar calls last call and it's time to go. What better way to celebrate last call than by heading across the street to the late-night club and carry on with these two? Too bad we can't get in. Seems the two are a bit too drunk to get in and the bouncers are a bit too foreign to hear any different. At least they are until I vouch for them. Seems some people still like us Americans after all, despite all our fabled President has done to soil that for us.

Well, before I know it, Ciaran's gone, and Denis and I are having 3 AM hot dogs on O' Connell street. My how time flies. By 4 AM I've completely forgotten about the previous days troubles and worries. It certainly helps that, as I stumble back to the "hotel," my car is still there. Lovely. I promise myself that tomorrow (well, today, actually) I'll take more photos than the four I took today (well, three yesterday, and one, um, today). Enough. See you tomorrow. Well, today, actually...

Back in the Groove

2006-05-02T10:05:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm home, and finally getting back into the swing of things. I've packed up my house, and moved in (temporarily) into two friends' house. The Jeep is legal and the car is loaned out to another friend. All that's left is to move all my gear into storage (if I can find enough friends willing and able to help me) this weekend. After that it's off to Austin for a week to finalize my 4-month leave of absence. Can't wait!

I promise to have my Ireland postings up soon. I've written most of them, but I'd like to post a few photos with each as well. It was a great trip, believe me, full of some humorous (and trying) stories.

I hope this post finds you all well. Feel free to drop me a line sometime. Take care for now!

I'm coming home... Today!

2006-04-15T00:43:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note: I'm back in London after Ireland, and I'm coming home today! I can't wait. I'm on a nooner flight into Dulles that'll get me in just after 3. See you all soon! Or later. But, regardless, the tales (and photos) from Ireland will be on their way soon. TTFN.

My Own Beer!

2006-03-29T11:42:00.000-05:00

Thanks, Dogfish Head Brewery! And thanks, Hornblower, for finding this wonderful news. Click the pic for details. Now I just have to buy some...

I'm Done!!!

2006-03-29T05:46:00.000-05:00

Just finished my walkthrough of the flat, and everything went very well. I have a few more things to do to put the place in order, but the mainstay is done, the linens are at the dry cleaner, my boxes have been dropped off at the shipper, and I just have to pack the rest of my gear and get ready for Ireland!!!

16 days in Ireland, just me, my car, my camera, and the whole of Ireland. I start in Dublin tomorrow night and then basically work my way around the country until I fly back to London on the 14th of April. Then it's a night with my buddy, Al (a coworker - don't hurt me TOO much, Al) and a flight home Saturday, April 15th. Finally, when I get back I get to go to my GodDaughter's 1st Birthday Party. It's going to be a great vacation. I'm trying not to think of all the stuff I need to do when I get back, like plan my sabbatical, do my taxes, plan the 5th Backyard Bash, register my Jeep, move out of my house, move into Jared's, catch up with Ozzy and Kristen (and EVERYBODY else), and so on, and so on, and so on. And all that's on top of going back to work for a bit. Regardless, I'm looking forward to both my vacation AND coming home.

Also on the horizon, keep an eye out for digitalbuffalo.net, my journey into my on-line photography business. I've got the domain name registered, now I just have to buy the software, and host the site. It's going to start off as a place to sell my professionally framed travel photography, and eventually become a place to host other photographers' work to sell on consignment (for a fee, of course). I'm very excited to journey down this road. I've gotten some rave reviews of my photography, including my mother's friend saying I could win this yearly contest she hosts hands down, so I'm fairly confident I can make some extra coin. Not enough to earn a solid living, mind you, but enough to pay for the beer, I hope.

I'd like to thank everyone who has made this experience here in England the wonderful journey that it's been, from friends (both at home and here), coworkers (again at home and here), and Kristen. You people are what makes reality what it is (inside joke). Thanks. To those here, I'll miss you (I hope to return someday). To those at home, I can't wait to see you.

I may post a bit before I go, and possibly some here and there along the way, but if I don't, I'll catch you all up when I land State-side. Ozzy, I'm coming home, buddy!

Sofa King...

2006-03-26T16:41:00.000-05:00

...awesome. Click the picture above to watch the preview for "E.T. 2" and get ready to laugh. At least, I did.

Yesterday...

2006-03-26T11:12:00.000-05:00

...all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though there here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Actually, I've got it backwards. Yesterday all my troubles were right there, and it looked as though there were no light at the end of the tunnel. Well, I'm now two days out from the end of said tunnel and I couldn't be happier.

My demonstration (both days of it) went quite well. All companies kicked @ss and left the client, the industry, the users, and a few others seemingly pleased. That behind me, I've only got a few more documents to churn out on Monday and Tuesday (Lessons Learned, Executive Overview, etc.) and I'm done. Feels good. Very good in fact.

Well, what else has happened in the past week or so? Well, on Friday I spent 9 hours on the train and the road for 2 hours worth of work, again someplace I'm not really allowed to talk about. I will say this, however: my temporary I.D. let me know just how much I can look like a serial killer. Too bad I couldn't keep it. Oh, and on the train, I saw my pimp jacket, but I wasn't wearing it. What WAS she thinking?

Well, then there was St. Patty's day. I know I promised quite a write-up on that one. Problem is, I have trouble remembering much of it! No, seriously, it was great, and I remember all of it. Well, most of it, but I won't go into too much detail. Besides, you should have been there (I invited you).

Some key points:

Many, many, MANY Irish visit Cheltenham on race weekend.
Many of them are incredibly nice (good thing, too, since I'm spending 16 days there).
At least one of them thinks he's in the I.R.A.
That one thinks it's a good idea to walk into any pub in Belfast and scream, "I'm American, and I love the I.R.A." Apparently I'll be treated like a king. Yeah, right.

A few more points:

Bartenders will do anything to sell you beer.
Including trading shirts.
But only if you have boobs.
They will also show your their furry, little...dog. As long as he's upstairs above the bar. with her boyfriend.
Silly little (big, actually) hats are fun.

Okay, what else did I promise you? The Heathrow Injection. That's right, the Heathrow Injection. Well, to keep it short, I'll say that I, too, suffered from it, though I didn't know it had a name at the time. I'll also say that it's VERY similar to the freshman fifteen. This past Christmas I looked down, and suddenly I noticed I had put on about a stone of weight (14 pounds). That just would...not...do. So I've been working out, eating (somewhat) right, and trying to behave. I think it's worked. I'll let you be the judge of it when I get back.

I am a bit bummed, though, b/c on my 11-mile run yesterday I tweaked my knee. I didn't feel it until later yesterday and today, however. The run itself was a run down workouts past. I ran to the top of Cleeve Hill which, for those of you that remember, was one of my first long runs when I got here to England. I ran to the top, had some Shot Bloks, and back home. It was great and, minus the break at the top, I finished in around 1:35:00, so not too shabby.

The rest of the weekend has been spent, minus the time at the sushi bar, cleaning and packing. Man these people don't mess around. More than likely I'll end up paying a bit for them to clean it, even though I've been very clean. Oh well, not entirely my money anyway.

Finally, prior to leaving for Ireland, and almost more importantly, coming home, I've bought a Jeep. Puts Ozzy and me one step closer to touring the country. Now I only need to wait for the check to clear and then arrange shipping from Iowa. Oh, one more thing: it's purple! Cute, huh.

I'll leave you with a few cute videos, not all work safe (unless you have headphones):

Have a great day, all!!! Talk to you soon.

One of Those Days...

2006-03-24T01:26:00.000-05:00

...where you could spend forever in the shower, thinking about what you want to be doing, what you could be doing, but mainly thinking about what you can't be doing, because of what you HAVE to be doing, which is catching a 06:57 train to Swindon. More to follow, I promise...

Patience is a Virtue...

2006-03-21T17:13:00.000-05:00

...or that cute little bartender down the street with a sexy ass. Actually, her name was Kiersty, and I was looking at her eyes (Kristen).

Anyway, yet again I'm still stuck at work, but I wanted to let you all know that I am planning some updates. This week is the week of my demo and (hopefully) the last week I'll be working for a bit (at least until I return to the States).

So, stay tuned for:

St. Patty's Exploits
The Heathrow Injection
Movie Reviews
and More!!!

Oh, and to the random girl that commented about liking my blog: Thanks! Though I'm sure it WAS just b/c you were bored.

Take care, everybody. I can't wait to see you all in less than 4 weeks! Yet again a BLOG spellchecker flags the word "blog." Weird.

Cheltenham Festival is Here

2006-03-14T04:22:00.000-05:00

Well, on my run this morning I noticed the "Luxury Loos" are set up in the park just north of my flat. Apparently they don't trust folks making their way to and from the racecourse without satisfying the need to "evacuate." Today is the start of the Cheltenham Festival, an event that brings 55,000 Irish and others to this small town, and culminates on Saturday with the Cheltenham Gold Cup, one of the biggest horse races in all of England (and maybe beyond).

So I'm in one of the most happening places to be, for one of my favorite holidays, with friends on their way, and I might have to work. Sucks. My bosses just don't seem to understand the work that I've been putting in (17 hours yesterday alone, and 63 total last week) to try and solve what is basically an unsolvable issue. They keep saying "keep at it" and "keep pushing the guys in Austin" but the bottom line is: this problem is not going away, so we'd better just live with it, and the guys in Austin come in after me and leave before me (fat lot of good they are right now). Regardless, this "problem" is down hiding in the weeds, among the infrastructure. Some of you might understand when I say that some of our jar files, some of their jar files, and the network that they sit on are not playing well together. Short of zipping up the entire network and sending it across the wire, which in impossible for soooooo many reasons (security being the main one), I don't know what anyone can do from over there. I told them months ago that I needed a more technical bloke here on the ground for these last weeks and they ignored me. Now guess who is paying the price? That's right, me.

Basically what I'm saying is Friday is a company holiday (it really is for us) and I plan on taking it. This demo can dangle from my bits and pieces, b/c I'm going out drinking with my friends.

Oh, as of yesterday, I sold my house, which means that, soon, I should have a huge check in my bank account. So it follows that I have no home, no debt (including my car), minimal expenses, a lonely dog, and a perfect excuse to tour the world...

Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me

2006-03-12T10:46:00.000-05:00

The bunny pictured is so cute and lovable. Click on him and find out why he's so upset. And why is Natalie so Angry? I don't know, but lately it's true: Everyone else HAS had more sex than me.

But I'm not worried. You know why? Because I just finished booking 16 days in Ireland. That's right. You can count 'em: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, baby! Dropped a small fortune doing it, too, but the good news it that I think my company is paying for the airfare from London, 2 days in Dublin, and my rental car. After that, it's all me, but I'm okay with that.

Where am I going? Everywhere. Literally. Well, almost. I'm starting in Dublin and basically circling the entire island, ending up right back in Dublin the day before I'm scheduled to fly back to the U.S. Should be a good, no, a great time.

And, yes, you heard that right, too. After Ireland I get to come home. For good. And that's a good thing. So, when does it all happen? Well, I leave for Ireland in a little over 2 weeks. It's definitely helped my motivation a bit by biting the bullet and booking the entire trip in one fell swoop (that's how I spent most of my day yesterday).

As for today, I've been watching movies, and I have only one real question: What the F*ck is up with "Revolver?" I consider myself a smart guy, and pretty well able to follow along in the movies these days. But this one WAS WARPED. Still good, though. But not as good as "Four Brothers." What a great movie. I'd recommend that one.

What have I been doing with the rest of my week? Working 60+ hours, that's what. Doing what, I can't say. No, really, I can't say, b/c I don't even know what I was doing. Mostly just waiting around for assistance from Austin that I wasn't getting. Nothing is much more upsetting than feeling like you've been left high and dry. I'm glad it's over. I hope.

Yes, I AM getting into a bit of a rut (or a habit to you optimists out there). You know: wake up in the morning, go for a run, then work all day. Come home at night and try to relax. And finally on weekends: go for a longer run on Saturday, have sushi for lunch, and run errands and watch movies for the rest of the weekend.

Speaking of which, how the hell did I accumulate so much gear in the nearly 8 months I've been here? I've already sent one carry-on size roller bag home with Katie and Eric, packed up one box for shipping, and today finished filling a HUGE piece of luggage with gear for Aaron and Jenn to take home with them (can't wait to see them for St. Pat's in a few!). And the sad thing is: I still have more gear. I'm thinking I still have my gear for Ireland and maybe 2 more boxes of gear to pack. Luckily my company will pay for shipping. Still need to figure out what to do with the printer, phone(s), and DVD player that I bought over here. Some I will try to give back to the company (since they paid for them); others I'm hoping to give to Derek and Kelly.

Okay, I'm thinking it's time for some grub. On a final note, my CEO came to visit this week (with the CFO), and he's really responsive to me taking off 4 months when I get back. So, in another week or two I should know whether or not my company is granting my a 4-month sabbatical to tour the country. Can't wait to find out...

No Power

2006-03-05T14:04:00.000-05:00

That's right, no power. In more ways than one. Last night the power went out in most of Cheltenham. That was a bit odd, everyone walking outdoors into the street like in some movie, just before the attack.

But I've also lost power, or, more to the point, motivation. Motivation to write. Motivation to run. Motivation to work. Even motivation to snap photos. Now I'm just counting down the days until I can come home.

The trip has finally gotten to me. I don't know how military folk do it. Now, to be sure, they've got the company of their unit. But they've also got the constant threat of attack, so I don't envy them. Much.

Let's see, what have I been up to? Well, I've been struggling to get stuff together for work. Seems the support from the home front (my Austin office) is drying up a bit in the home stretch and I'm being left to my own devices. And, well, we just talked about them.

I've been running rather consistently, and that's good. I've even been eating properly, in hopes of dropping these British "biscuit" pounds.

What else? STILL trying to get the forms together for selling my house. The title agency gave me a Deed of Gift, which the solicitor (British lawyer) said was wrong (it's NOT a gift). And it was missing the attachment. So I had him whip out another form. But this one would require both Vince and I to pay taxes on the money, so that's not good. But, after some talk with my lawyer friends, we're going to go with the Deed of Gift, with the attachment, and a document on the side talking to the money. Hopefully this works. Solicitors, by the way, are expensive as notaries. 60 pounds. But it'll be worth it to have this done.

Next up this week is to order the give-away for the Backyard Bash. Shouldn't be too hard.

After that I need to get some boxes and start shipping my gear home. We'll follow that up with trying to convince work that I want a 4-month sabbatical. If not, maybe I'll just have to quit. But only for awhile. I DO like what I'm doing. But I like the idea of buying a Jeep and traveling cross country with Ozzy even better. Wish me luck! And, yes, to any of you that live elsewhere: I DO plan on visiting, particularly those in the Northeast, Chicago, Colorado, California, and Texas. Can't wait!

Einstein Says, "Read Me!"

2006-03-01T10:25:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Hump Day, everybody. Work sucks right now, but I'm excited to be only 45 days away from coming home, just in time for my GodDaughter's 1st birthday party. Solid.

Rob's Naked @ss

2006-02-26T12:33:00.000-05:00

Nothing quite like finding out one of your (guy) friends has a very effeminate @ss. Nothing quite like finding it out at one of the fanciest hotels in all of London. Yeah, Rob and Dana came into London this weekend on business and were put up at the Savoy London, on the Strand. This place was FANCY.

I grabbed a 4:30 bus out of Cheltenham on Friday afternoon. Nothing special there, just another bus ride, though it did cost a bit more b/c Megabus wouldn't take foreign credit cards and I had to use National Express. Still, 22 pounds 50 for a RT ticket to London isn't bad. If the States had the same public transit system and infrastructure that England has I would be hard pressed to find a good reason not to use it more.

So, anyway, I arrived in to Victoria Station a bit after 7 and hopped the tube up to Derek and Kelly's. They were kind enough to loan me the use of their flat for the weekend while they were in Copenhagen. Once there I shared some wine with them and had a quick bite to eat before heading back to the tube to head down to Trafalgar Square. Unfortunately I was running behind and getting on a stopped train doesn't help any. That thing must have sat there for 10 minutes before it finally moved.

I was supposed to meet Rob at the Coal Hole while we waited for Dana to get out of her interviews, but the Coal Hole was PACKED, and Rob wasn't there, so I decided to try him in his hotel room. You ever get the feeling you're underdressed for an occassion? Well, that's the way the Savoy made me feel, standing there in my jeans talking to the receptionist. So I stole some matches to make up for it. Okay, you can't really call it stealing since that's what the matches are there for, so I don't really feel that bad.

Rob was indeed up in his room and Dana had finished her interviews. It was about 9:30 so I took them to the Garrick Arms for our first beer of the evening. It was good to see them again. I usually see them for Thanksgiving, the Superbowl, and St. Patty's, but I missed the first two already and am looking to miss the third, so this was a good opportunity to catch up. Two beers at that bar and it was time to show them around. We walked through China Town a bit and ended up at Waxy O'Connors for a bit.

By that time it was 11:30 and closing time for most of the bars, so we had to pay a cover to get into this place called the Walkabout that I'd never been to. This was one of those places that makes you feel a bit old, especially considering that the legal drinking age in England is 18. And apparently they all come here to listen to the boom-boom music. But, all things considered, this place wasn't all that bad. And I sent Rob and Dana a little text message that appeared on all the big screens. They liked that.

But, after a few more beers, it was about 3AM, and definitely time to head home. I didn't feel like waking Derek and Kelly so I crashed on the floor at the hotel, but not until after we visited Subway and Rob and Dana got some subs (I ate Dana's after she passed out - it was yummy). So anyway, I wake up in the middle of the night and see a a t-shirt wearing, naked ass staring me in the face. Now dudes don't normally dress this way so at first I thought it was Dana. It wasn't until later that I realized it was Rob, after finding his jeans and underwear spread out in the bathroom. So, Rob, you have a girly @ss. Deal with it. And, no, I'll never let you live this one down.

Saturday brought an expensive breakfast at the Savoy, courtesy of Booz Allen, and a quick trip up north to Derek and Kelly's to clean up. It was there that I checked my email and discovered that a coworker donated $200 to my fund-raising efforts. Thanks, Allen! I met up with Dana and Rob at Trafalgar Square and we walked up to the British Museum. After that we began our bar crawl. Every fifth bar (after humping for 160 yards - see picture) found us inside with a pint. We made our way (slowly) to Buckingham Palace, then down to Big Ben. By this time we were fairly well lit, and fairly hungry. The hunger caused us to head off in search of some food. The inebriation caused me to walk out of one bar with both the bar towl AND the glass I was drinking from. Whoops.

We crossed the bridge and made one last stop at a bar before catching a cab down to the Tower Bridge where we finally ate some bangers and mash, which was delicious. Though we were having a great time, we knew that it was time to call it a night and go our separate ways. So I walked them across the Tower Bridge and they walked me to the Tower Hill tube station. Thank you, Dana and Rob, for a great getaway weekend.

The next morning I slowly made my way to Victoria Station and caught a bus back home. And now, here I sit, writing it up, knowing that I have 48 days until I come home for good. Can't wait.

'Pieces' Author Loses Book Deal

2006-02-24T05:43:00.000-05:00

This is sure to p!ss Kristen off, but here it is anyway, in the unfolding saga that is "Million Little Pieces." I'm set to start the book tonight on the bus ride to London, so I'll let you know my thoughts on the book.

Just completed "Five People You Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Albom and am quite excited to read "Tuesdays with Morrie" by him as well. "Five People..." was quite good, and short, so it can be tackled on a lazy day, and is packed with a few 'life lessons.'

Now, I'd just like to say that most of these 'life lesson' books don't really ever offer anything new and profound. Most of them are just plain common sense. But what they do offer, is a gentle reminder into the human race and how we should act. I think we all could use a little 'reminder' now and then to keep us on the right track, and "Five People..." can do just that, and not take much of your time while doing so.

James T. Kirk

2006-02-23T07:52:00.000-05:00

Okay, now that I AM the captain of the Enterprise I can finally have those seatbelts put in...

Your results:You are James T. Kirk (Captain)
James T. Kirk (Captain) 75%

You are often exaggerated and over-the-topin your speech and expressions.You are a romantic at heart and a natural leader.
Click here to take the "Which startrek character are you?" quiz...

Will Riker 75%
Chekov 60%
Jean-Luc Picard 60%
Geordi LaForge 50%
Worf 45%
Data 44%
Leonard McCoy (Bones) 40%
Mr. Scott 40%
Deanna Troi 40%
Uhura 35%
Beverly Crusher 35%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 35%
Spock 32%
Mr. Sulu 20%

Playing Catch-Up

2006-02-21T14:44:00.000-05:00

Or "Clean up the Blog Doc Day" if you prefer. Decided to have a field day and post all those random thoughts and videos and such that have been building up.

Okay, for starters, I was watching some show the other day called "Killer Instinct." It was this thriller slash mystery you see all over the tube these days, except this one was about some guy that was able to soak clothes in a chemical that would cause them the become bombs, only being set off when enough static electricity builds up to act as the triggering device. A bomb that leaves no trace. Nice. So, of course, it ends with a race to catch the killer at the last victim's house. Well, he was gone. But this victim, who is totally hot by the way, has been duped by the killer to put on the clothes and is leaving her house when the detective shows up and screams, "Stop! We have reason to believe your clothes have been tampered with. I'm going to have to ask you to undress. Slowly." And she does! On the front porch! I'm going to have to use this line sometime.

Another random television thought. Star Trek: for as advanced as they are, and as much as they get thrown around on that bridge, you’d think they’d have thought of seat belts.

New Years resolution to quit smoking, eat healthy, and start working out? Here’s three links that cover it all. And you might want to ditch your parrot AND your girlfriend while you’re at it. And maybe find religion, too.

Enjoy!

I'm so Lonely I could Die

2006-02-20T11:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, not really. But the countdown has begun. Less than 8 weeks until I come home. The week was normal, work being what it is. I really don't go out anymore. I'm so lame. But what started as a weekend to look forward to ended up being a weekend to fast forward through.

I was originally going to spend it in Rome, but my friends decided on Normandy instead. But then I wasn't allowed to take my car out of the country, so we settled on Wales. But then it was going to rain so we decided to pass up a road trip all-together. And I wasn't concerned b/c I came down with a nasty head cold. Sucks.

And then the heat goes out in my flat. Followed by the hot water. Yeah, I wore a hat to bed.

"Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalow" (2005)

2006-02-20T10:58:00.000-05:00

Did you ever rent a movie, absolutely certain that it was going to suck, and then become pleasantly surprised when it didn't? Well, "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalow" isn't that movie. Admittedly, it was bad, but it was a good movie to waste the day with. There was enough toilet humor and gratuitous nudity to please even the most pre-pubescent of adults. And the DVD extras, especially where they were auditioning the window washer, kept it going.

Deuce ends up in Amsterdam trying to clear his he-pimp, T.J., of murder. It's up to him to infiltrate the Global Order of Man-Whores and track down the killer. And, of course, he falls for a woman with O.C.D. No surprises here.

But anyway, I rented it, I watched it, and I'm not sorry I did.

"Sky High" (2005)

2006-02-20T10:50:00.000-05:00

"Sky High," starring Kurt Russell and Kelly Preston, was a good, clean, family movie. AND it was filmed before "The Incredibles" so don't blame it for jumping on the bandwagon.

Sky High focuses on the life of young Will Stronghold, the child of two of the World's greatest superheroes, Jetstream (Preston) and Commander (Russell), and it's time for him to attend Sky High, a school where everyone is dealing with their superpowers on top of just being a normal teenager. Unfortunately for Will, his superpowers haven't developed yet, if they ever will. To top it all off the school becomes the target of the super-villain, Royal Pain, Jetstream and Commander's arch-nemesis. And, of course, it's up to Will and his friends to stop Royal Pain.

Okay, so it's a Disney movie. For kids. And I'm not a kid. But I liked it just the same. It was nice to sit down to a movie that didn't make you think too much (in that it was obvious where the plot was going). And the soundtrack was great (a bunch of 80's tunes redone - which is all the rage right now).

Colds Suck

2006-02-16T08:01:00.001-05:00

They make your head hurt. Here's a cool video that might make your head hurt. Imagine the possibilities for this type of computer interface...

Recognizing a Stroke

2006-02-15T06:50:00.000-05:00

Well, yesterday was all about love. And what do you need to love? You're heart, of course. Well, that and someone to love. We've heard all the songs.

This has been going around the internet for a bit as a chain letter. Usually wary of such chain letters I checked this one out. Surprisingly enough, this chain letter contains solid facts that could indeed save a life, so I thought I'd post an excerpt of it here so you all can recognize when your heart has malfunctioned.

Is It a Stroke?
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say any bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
Ask the individual to smile.
Ask him or her to raise both arms.
Ask the person to speak a simple sentence.
If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
After discovering that a group of nonmedical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the general public to learn the three questions. They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke Association’s annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.
The following is from the American Stroke Association:
Call 911 immediately if you — or a loved one — experience these symptoms:
Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one sideof the body
Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes
Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination
Sudden, severe headache with no known cause

VD: For that Special Someone

2006-02-14T15:10:00.000-05:00

For that Special Someone. You know who you are. And hopefully the rest of you will enjoy it. Happy Valentine's Day! Now go out and Party. All the time.

Oh, I almost forgot to cater to the non-hetero community out there on this special day. This is for you.

Vibrator: the Return

2006-02-13T13:04:00.000-05:00

No, it's not a movie; it's just the title of this week's blog entry. Read on, noble readers, to find out why. Well, it was another LONG week at work, AND I got disciplined (well, talked to, at least) by the project manager. It's okay though, because it was my fault. I disregarded a particular (and a particularly useless in this case) security regulation. I'd already been warned once so I was fully deserving of what I got. In fact, I probably should have gotten more.

Anyway, the week went by and I was waiting for Katie and Eric (Katie is one of my best friends, and Eric is her BF) to call so I could pick them up at the Cheltenham train station on Thursday night. And waiting. And waiting. You see, they arrived in England on Wednesday morning and were exploring other areas of England prior to coming and visiting with me. But they were supposed to be arriving in Cheltenham early Thursday evening. In the off chance that they couldn't get the phone card to work I went to the train station around 10:30PM. Nothing. So I went across the street and grabbed a brew and waited some more. Still nothing. I returned to the train station as they were locking up and was informed that no more trains would be arriving that night. Great. Nothing to do but go home and wait. And wait.

Finally, around 12:15AM (just after I'd gone to bed, of course) they call. They're stuck in Gloucester at the train station. So I don my clothes and make my way to the train station, which I'd never been to. I pick them up (and their ENORMOUS bags) and we head back to the flat, where we have some wine and vodka and such, and stay up way too late for a school night.

The next morning I do a bit of work from the flat while we plan our day. I'd decided about 3AM to take a half day and visit some sites with them rather than going to work. I know, tough choice. We decide to hit Warwick Castle, the 2nd most-visited castle in England, and nearby to boot. We hop in the car a little after lunch-time and cruise through the English countryside.

This place is huge, and we find it virtually deserted. Basically we had the entire castle all to ourselves. There are peacocks roaming the grounds outside the walls, geese in the river Avon, and a gigantic trebuchet (basically a huge catapult) on River Island. It's powered by it's own water wheel (amongst other things) and comes complete with it's own dungeon and oubliette (a small hole to stuff people in). So basically we walked around the grounds, into the power room, up and down the towers, across the battlements, inside the dungeon, and even inside the main quarters. The place was immense. I strongly recommend this place. By 5 or 6, though, we were famished so we hurried back to Cheltenham to get ready for dinner.

Dinner consisted of bar food at the Hog's Head. I had a huge burger topped with bacon (like our ham), mushrooms, cheese, AND an over-easy egg. It was quite good. After a few beers there it was time for their bar crawl. We went across the street to the Q Bar, home of the huge, fancy couches, upon which sat a bunch of young, posh-wannabees. We had another beer and a shot of tequila, and then we'd had enough. It was time for Slak. Now, some of you remember Slak from the previous post, B*tch Better Have My Money. That's right: this was the bar where the vibrator machine took my money. After another 2 beers and a game of table-top Space Invaders, I wandered into the bathroom and, staring at me, there was the very same machine, taunting me. I couldn't resist, but was fully prepared to be, yet again, disappointed. I stuck a one-pound coin in the machine. Glanced at the door to make sure that I wouldn't be interrupted during my private moment with the machine. In went another coin. Another glance, followed by another coin. Three coins down. The anticipation was so thick I could taste it. Well, maybe that was the egg-Burger. Another glance was followed up with the fourth coin. I was rushing things now so I immediately put the fifth coin in without looking to the door when, suddenly... there was a noise. No, nobody came in. The vibrator had finally arrived! MY vibrator. I secreted it away (in my jacket pocket, you bastards) and made my way elatedly back to my seat. The saga was over. I could finally stop worrying about what a 5-pound vibrator looked like. So, for five pounds (well, sort-of ten), you get:

(1) discreet, white box,
(1) Panasonic AAA battery (perhaps a new campaign from them), and
(1) see-through blue vibrator (I don't even want to wonder if they come in other colors; I'd be out SO much money).

Eric claimed that having a vibrator machine in the men's bathroom was just a little bit weird. So I had to explain to him that, no, in fact, quite the opposite was true: to have a vibrator machine in the women's bathroom would have been just a little bit weird. To put one there would send the signal to the women: you're ugly and you're going home alone. A sobering thought, and a signal not likely to inspire one to stick around. But to put it in the men's room, however, instills men with a feeling of: not only are you NOT going home alone, but you're going home with a fine, adventurous, woman. Now that makes sense.

Now, I love Katie to death, but man does that woman like to argue. And, yes, maybe I egged her on. But one bit of advice: NEVER talk politics with this woman. Even when you're right, you're wrong. After yet another conversation it was time to show them the vodka bar in the townhouse, so it was off to J's Vodka Bar. That's really the name, by the way, but I don't own it. Unfortunately only the first level was open, so they didn't get the full affect, but we did have a shot anyway. It was time to head for the flat where we all decided to call it a night. Because it was. A night that is. It was late. And dark. And that pretty much is the definition of night. Anyway...

the next morning brought a slight hangover. Not to worry because Katie and Eric didn't even get out of bed till around 11. That left me plenty of time to recover. It was a little after noon by the time we got in the car and headed south for Amesbury, the location of Stonehenge. This place doesn't take long to tour, even when your best friend REALLY likes history. So that passed quickly and I decided to show them a bit of Bath as well on the way home.

Bath is a gorgeous old town named so for the old Roman baths that are there. Unfortunately they were closed. But we did get to see a bit of the town and share some beers at the pub. Once more we made the drive back to the flat.

From there we decided that sushi was in order so I took them to Sakura. Unfortunately they had a huge party there so the service wasn't up to it's usually high standards. But the food, as always, was delicious. Back at the flat for the night they wrapped up their packing and we called it a night. They were catching a morning train back into London to do a bit more sight-seeing before leaving on Monday morning (weather permitting).

It was sad to drop them off at the train station. It's always good to host fellow Americans (and the accents they bring with them). But still, it was also good to have a nice recovery day, in which I was able to clean, do laundry, pack a box to ship home, AND watch more Stargate SG-1. Got seasons three AND four from Kristen (now I'm positive she wants me homebound).

Well, that's about it. So, wrapping things up, I apologize for not writing more often, but I'll try to keep everyone up to date. I'm planning on heading to Normandy this weekend with Derek and Kelly (my two friends from the States living in London for a bit). Should be fun, though taking my rental is proving impossible so we may just rent when we get there. The following weekend I'll be heading into London to see some friends in town. And then, maybe, the weekend after that I might go to Copenhagen with Derek and Kelly. He's got to be there for school and he invited me to join them. We'll see. Okay, everyone, stay safe (not too safe) and enjoy your week. Later!

P.S. In running spellcheck on this thing, I find it odd that a spellchecker on a blog site to tag the word "blog" as misspelled or unknown.

"Green Street"

2006-02-05T12:09:00.000-05:00

"It isn't knowing that your friends have your back. It's knowing that you have your friends' back." This movie has many names: "Green Street" a.ka. "Hooligans" a.k.a. "Green Street Hooligans, " but it has only one description: F*cking Awesome. There's a reason it won Best of the Fest at the 2005 Malibu Film Festival. Great story. Great characters. And great directing.

Matt Buckner, soon to graduate Harvard as a journalist, is set up by an @ss-munching Senator's son to take the fall for a crime. He is expelled and soon finds himself visiting his sister in London. He meets her beautiful child, her loving husband, and his brother, Pete. Pete introduces Matt to the world of football hooliganism. It's here he learns about true friendship, true family, and truly taking things too far. "Pete Dunham's life taught me there's a time to stand your ground, and his death taught me there's a time to walk away."

Fitting that I started reading "Fever Pitch" today. This movie is definitely one to recommend. Powerful, moving, and slightly unnerving. Rent it today, watch it tonight, and talk about it tomorrow.

"The Mighty Celt"

2006-02-05T12:02:00.000-05:00

"The Mighty Celt" was supposed to be a story about a boy and his dog. And it was. Sort of. Apparently, growing up in Northern Ireland is tough, on the boys AND the dogs.

Young Donal (played by a brilliant Tyrone McKenna) spends his days working for Good Joe, helping him raise greyhounds for racing. It's clear from the start that Good Joe is not so good. But when Donal convinces him to purchase "the Mighty Celt," a name based on a comic book hero, it gives Donal a chance to prove that his way of raising animals works just as well. And if TMC wins three races in a row, the dog becomes Donal's. Of course Good Joe isn't going to let that happen. What will Donal's mother, Kate (Gillian Anderson), think of all this? And how does O (Robert Carlysle), fresh out of hiding, fit into all this?

The backdrop to the whole movie is the troubles in Northern Ireland and the troubled times they live in affects each character differently. The movie was decent enough, and short enough just in case it wasn't decent enough. The accents were believable and, though the story wasn't quite as "feel good" as I'd hoped, it was still worth the rental.

"The 40 Year Old Virgin"

2006-02-05T06:13:00.000-05:00

"The 40 Year Old Virgin," while a bit long, was pretty f*cking (nice pun) good movie. Steve Carell did a wonderful job in his first headlining role, and I saw alot of my various friends in his friends. Not a bad movie.

When Andy Stitzer's "friends" at the electronics store find out he's still a virgin at 40 they take it upon themselves, each in their own way, to teach him the ways of the sexual jedi, and get him laid. What follows is a series of (very) unfortunated incidents and flashbacks. It isn't until he meets (hot) grandma, Trish, that he comes to realize that maybe, just maybe, getting some tail isn't the answer. It's time to take the toys off the shelf, the p*ssy off the pedestal, and get back on that bike and ride.

I liked this movie. It was perverted and funny, but not TOO perverted. And, somewhere in all of that, was a pretty good lesson. Oh, and Catherine Keener, at 46, is HOT.

"The Dukes of Hazzard"

2006-02-04T12:03:00.000-05:00

Okay, so the "The Dukes of Hazzard" wasn't as good as it could of been. Sure, it focused more on the drugs and moonshine, even the sex, than the feelings of family and togetherness. And, yes, I never thought that Bo and Luke were quite THAT stupid and ignorant. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the movie.

When Dil Driscoll, the only driver other than Bo Duke to win 4 Hazzard County Road Rallies, turns up to prevent Bo from breaking his record, the Dukes are left to wonder, not only why he's there, but why he's in the employ of the notorious Boss Hogg. Not only that, the Dukes suddenly find themselves, along with several others, stripped of their land. It's up to the Duke boys to take a break from running moonshine for their old Uncle Jesse and start figuring out what's going on. With the help of Uncle Jesse, cousin Daisy, and Cooter, they just might do it. But will they be in time?

Willie Nelson's jokes are cornier, Daisy Duke's shorts are shorter, Boss Hogg's pants are slimmer, and the Duke boys brains are smaller. But good ole General Lee, well that '69 Dodge Charger is just as sleek, sexy, and fast as she was on those Friday nights back in the 70's and 80's. The movie itself wasn't the best, but the nostalgia helped you get over that. And the behind-the-scenes extras were good, too, the way they showed you how they made that beautiful car behave the way it did. I will say this, I watched two movies last night, this and "The Forty Year Old Virgin" and, while I consider myself not too ignorant to the ways of the smoker, I must admit I'd never seen an apple used in such a way. A beer can, yes, but an apple, no.

"High Fidelity"

2006-02-04T12:02:00.000-05:00

Great book. VERY appropriate for 30-somethings. Read it.

Czech Out Prague

2006-02-04T11:57:00.000-05:00

Lame, I know. Okay, first off, I made it to and from Prague, on my own, with very few incidents to speak of. Second, it’s taken me awhile to put pen to paper for the following reasons:

Work. As usual, is still, and will remain quite busy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: going on Holiday is like driving past that rest stop when you have to go to the bathroom, and you’re thinking, “I’ll wait till I get where I’m going.” When you finally get back all that sh*t is still waiting for you, and it’s worse than when you left.
Lost. My friend sent me Season 2 on DVD (thanks, Meatloaf!) and I’m, once again, hooked. Expect me to remain so. Did you know you can buy the episodes on iTunes for $1.99 apiece?
Pictures. I’ve had several hundred photos to comb through. I’ll throw a few up here and there. Prague is a beautiful city and I’d photograph a pile of dog sh*t if I was allowed to.
On top of all that I’m still working through the details of selling my share of the house to my co-owner. It’s so hard dealing with money between friends. I don’t recommend it. Ever. You can get away with screwing your friend’s girlfriend, but you’ll never get away with screwing over your friend’s wallet.

So, where does it all begin? Well, it starts with a well laid out plan of my trip, a detailed itinerary, if you will. You know the like: packing list, directions to and from the airport, flight reservation printouts, hotel reservation printouts, tour reservation printouts, and a list of all I want to see and when. Yeah, I’m anal.

I wake up Friday morning, gather all my gear, and hit the road. I’ve packed all my gear, including all my camera equipment. It’s not until I reach the airport that I realize that, while I have all the camera equipment, I don’t have the camera. It’s too late to go back so I settle on the decision to buy another camera. Logical progression, right? More on that later.

The woman at the checkout counter, a lovely (married) Spanish woman, notes my U.S. passport and tries to set me up with her coworker, who always dreamed of marrying an American so that she can get her green card. Good times. I pass her up on the offer, head through security, and settle in at the gate to await my flight. My flight is through Brussels and nothing exciting happens on the way there. Basically I just continue to peruse my two, yes two, guidebooks on Prague.

At the Brussels Airport I’ve got a two-hour layover, so I use the time to find a camera shop and look for another camera. I’ve been in the market for something small, sleek, and sexy (a camera, people) anyway so this really isn’t a big deal to me. I decided upon the Casio Exilim, a good 5MP camera that is all of the things I’m looking for, except that it’s not a Canon. No big deal, so after doing all the conversions in my head (Euro to Pounds, Pounds to Dollars, Euros to Dollars, etc.) I buy that, plus a memory card and a case for it. Now I only have to worry about getting that damned VAT back. I make my way to the gate, plug in the camera to charge, and continue reading. Again, nothing exciting happens on the way from Brussels to Prague.

Landing in Prague I’m told the time and temperature. 6PM. Okay. –20 degrees. What!? Damn, that’s cold. Good thing I brought enough clothes. I’ve been known to leave winter coats sitting right next to my cameras. A pleasant taxi ride and I’m in the heart of Prague at my hotel, the K&K Central. Not bad. On deck for the weekend is a dinner cruise Friday night, a walking tour Saturday morning, another tour Saturday night, and a pub tour Sunday night, so I’m pretty psyched to get things started. I unpack and then perform what becomes the several times daily “bundling up” and ensure that all my dangly bits (fingers, toes, ahem, other things) are all accounted for and adequately protected.

Rolling out into the night I make my way into the heart of Prague. Immediately I notice how beautiful it is. There are two huge towers on the east side of the river in Old Town; these were once part of the wall that encompassed that part of the city. The Old Town Square has an old gothic church, several other beautiful buildings, and the astronomical clock. More on all that later.

The river cruise was designed as a way to meet some fellow travelers. But, with my luck, whom do I meet? The tour guide. Not bad. She’s nice and I think of all the questions I can have answered. But she has to make her rounds, so whom do I have dinner with? The tour guide’s 6 year-old son. And whom do I listen to the band with? The tour guide’s 6 year-old son. Who doesn’t speak a word of English? That’s right, the tour guide’s 6 year-old son. Okay, so the dinner cruise was a bust, but on the bright side I’m now fully fed and properly liquored up.

I’ll take this opportunity to interrupt and tell you that, in my experience, tour books exaggerate the dangers of traveling. You know, they say beware of pickpockets, watch out for prostitutes who steal your organs (who brings a piano with them on travel, anyway?), and other such warnings. Well, the Prague guide book was spot on. While I didn’t get my pockets picked, and I didn’t meet any hooker with a bag of ice and a scalpel, I did get approached twice by shady characters going, “psst, marijuana? Pills?” so that was nice. And then I passed the old guy leaning against the Powder Tower taking a piss while his wife window shopped. At least, I think it was his wife, and not some scimitar-waving tart, but it’s hard to say. Anyway, to the writers of the Prague tour books: good on ya, mates. One thing about my hotel that really rocks: heated bathroom floors. Whomever invented this, I salute you (and those of you about to rock, too).

The next day, after breakfast, I once again performed the bundling up ritual. Today, again, the book was spot on. On the way to the Astronomical Clock I got hit up by the money changers. Bastards. But, thanks to the book, I simply kept moving and avoided further hassle. It also pays to be in a city where people speak Czeck, Russian, German, English, Italian, and maybe French. At any given time I can pretend to speak whatever it is they don’t.

The clock tower is where I’m to meet the tour guide at 11. I’m glad to find it’s not the guide from last night, and the little boy is nowhere in sight. This guy was pretty cool. I certainly recommend taking a tour of just about any city when you get there. I learned so much about the history and architecture of Prague that I almost feel like I could give a tour myself. Well worth it. For instance, the Astronomical Clock is one bad-ass machine. Built in 1490 it shows the Earth as the center of the universe. Big deal, does it tell time? Yes. So what, so can my Seiko. True that, but this thing also tells you when the sun is rising and setting, the phases of the moon, when that’s rising and setting, what day it is, what zodiac it is, and what phase of the life-cycle the indigenous population is in (for example, the new year equals rebirth). Pretty amazing for 1490, AND it rings and things move on it and all that cool ADD stuff. Add to that that all the little statues are there such as Death, the Philosopher, the Angel, and the Drunk and you’ve got a pretty cool clock. Oh, but don’t try and see it do it’s thing after 9PM because it only does it from 11AM to 9PM. Apparently the locals get a pretty big kick out of watching people stare at it around 10PM.

So that’s my intro into this tour guide. I have to say that I was impressed. Then he kicks into the history of Prague. For instance, Good King Wenceslas was good king Wenceslas because he gave the Czechs 20 years of peace with their surrounding neighbors and he gave them Christianity. Later he was murdered on the way to mass by an ungrateful nephew. And then there is the thing about true gothic cathedrals having one tower, representing Adam, be larger than the other tower, representing Eve (which sometimes never gets built at all due to money), and how the tower of Adam is set so that it ‘protects’ the tower of Eve from the Sun. Stuff like that. Hell, by the time we left the square I knew about all that and about how you can see Gothic, Baroque, Neo-Classical, and Renaissance architecture all in one square, one of the few places anywhere that’s possible. Oh, one last thing about all the small doors in Prague and the fact that many buildings are set below street level. A long time ago the city flooded quite badly, worse than the one in 2002 even. To avoid much of the destruction should that happen again they made the decision to raise the street level nearly two meters. Basically they built much of Prague on the foundation of old Prague. That’s why some doors are so small and some restaurants and such are now below ground level (because they later dug them back out).

Anyway, to make a long story short we toured the square and made our way a bit into New Town where I had THE BEST hot chocolate. A, because it was so f*cking cold, and B, because it was practically just melted chocolate and milk. Awesome. After that we hit the Jewish Quarter, which was eye-opening in its history. Hitler wanted to wipe out the Jews, right? I hope you knew that already. Well, he collected a bunch of their gear from all over and put it in Prague to eventually become a museum to house the history of the (what he hoped to be extinct) Jews. Well, that plan failed, but Prague continues to house many Jewish artifacts (though less than 10% of the Jews themselves remain). The cemetery was amazing, too, as was one of the few active synagogues in the Czech Republic.

I know, I know, when are we going to get to the Charles Bridge and Prague Castle? I was merely trying to point out that there is more to Prague than cheap beer, Charles Bridge, and Prague Castle. We made our way through the narrow, cobblestone streets, lined with shops, to the Charles Bridge. Charles Bridge is cool. It’s lined with statues of the saints and packed with vendors. You could spend hours crossing it if you visited every vendor and read the history of every statue.

Once across the bridge we catch a tram to the top of the hill where the castle is. It’s gorgeous, a combination of Gothic and Baroque, I believe. We check out the changing of the guards, which is much less showy than the one in London. After that we head into St. Vitus Cathedral. If I had been allowed to take photos you’d currently be picking your jaw up off the floor. This place was gorgeous. But, as I have no way to prove it, I’ll continue. Quit crying and buy a picture book.

The downside of George (my tour guide) and his knowledge is that his tour runs over an hour late (for a total of 5+ hours) and I’ve now missed my evening tour. That’s fine because I’m so damn cold that I don’t think I could continue anyway. I head out of the castle by way of the old castle steps and head back across the river, where I’m forced (yes, forced) to buy this old pilot’s headgear and goggles. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t know.

I warm up back at the hotel and head out for dinner. Guess it in one what I went for and you win a prize. That’s right: sushi. And it was pretty good, too. I think I’ll make it my life’s goal to have sushi in every city I travel to. Might be an interesting experience. But don’t worry, I eat some local dishes later on. How can you pass up German-influenced cooking? Pork and sauerkraut? Damn right!

Sunday in Prague brings the return of the drug dealers. So now we’ve had some drug dealers, followed by some money lenders, followed by some more drug dealers. I was offered more drugs in Prague than my entire life put together (at least, I was offered more drugs by strangers). I’m still not sure where the pissing geezer and his window-shopping wife fit in. They weren’t in the tour book. With all the major touring out of the way I set out to do some shopping and just walked around town snapping pics. I did get a chance to head back across the Charles Bridge and check out the entire wall dedicated to John Lennon. It was pretty cool.

A brief nap at the hotel and I was ready for the pub walk. I met up with the guide. Again I was glad it wasn’t some chick and her 6 year-old son. And it wasn’t George either. It was Anna, and she was lovely. To explain that, I was simply glad I wouldn’t be babysitting and I wasn’t in the mood for another architecture lesson, so it was good to just hang out with a local and have some beers. The only other people on the tour was this nice, Australian couple who would be getting married the next day, in the middle of their world tour. I’m sure there’s more of a story there because I picked up that they only knew each other a few months. Regardless, I didn’t ask questions and they seemed happy. The first pub was cool and it was here that I found out why Czechs get so drunk and pass out, only to be found after the snow melts. There, on the bar, sat a meter stick. End to end, on this meter stick, sat shot glasses. When questioned about this the guide said that sometimes, just sometimes, aspiring locals attempt to complete the meter stick. To that I say, “Good luck.” At each bar we had a drink and shared stories, with dinner coming at the last stop. It was a great tour, good beer, and delicious food. On the way home I tried a few photos with my new camera and my travel tri-pod. They turned out pretty good, for a drunk guy.

Monday, my last day there, was very relaxing. I was all toured out and ready to go home so I spent most of the time reading at the hotel, interspersed with journeys into the cold for more souvenirs and post cards, along with some more photos. I hopped in my taxi, which was a sweet Mercedes, and made my way to the airport.

Once I was all checked in there was nothing left to do but grab some food and drink, and wait for the plane. All was going great, until the flight. Seems I make a habit of feinting on planes now, and today was no exception. It happened once in 2000, but now it’s happened once in November and once in January. What’s up with that? It did, however, score me an entire row in First Class. Sweet.

In Brussels I attempted to get my VAT refund for the camera to no avail. The customs guy looked, and sounded, like someone straight out of Stalag 13. Seems I have to wait till I leave London. No worries. Then it will seem like free money. I hop the plane into Birmingham and make my way home doing 90+ all the way (one of the glories of the British road system). After everything that’s happened I think a good sleep in something as close to my own bed as I can come over here was much in order.

Mr. T

2006-01-26T11:47:00.000-05:00

The following are facts:

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
You have only seen Mr. T in human form. In Narnia, he is a T. Rex with a lion's tail hanging out of his mouth.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma but he pitied his own fool cells until the disease turned into T-cell lymphoma. Upon closer inspection by doctors, the cancerous T-cells now had mohawks, gold chains around their nucleus and were tired of the other cell's jibba-jabba.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Mr. T was the first to kill two bird with one stone. He kept the stone, and as of now it has killed 6,048.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.
Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's.
Remember when Mr. T wasn't so popular and awesome? Me neither.
They say when a bear is chasing a group of people, you don't have to outrun the bear, but only have to be faster than the slowest person. If Mr. T is chasing you, you're dead no matter what.
Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man.
Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.
Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second.
On all 3428 instances it occured, when Mr. T and Chuck Norris both 'deflower' the same woman, the resulting spermal battles have caused the woman's uterus to explode in a flurry of pity and roundhouse kicks.
Mr. T doesn't have internal organs. He had them removed to make more room for muscle.
The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Mr. T's neck was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox

The Taint

2006-01-26T11:43:00.000-05:00

Well, if you've ever wondered where the taint is, it's that strip of land in D.C. between the pentagon and the capitol buildings and Washington Monument. At least according to Comedy Central, it is. Shocker!

R&R

2006-01-26T10:47:00.000-05:00

Well, after working my ass off this past week (48 hours at COB today) I'm greatly looking forward to my Holiday in Prague. We just delivered a fairly major piece of functionality to the client and I have to tell you: it feels good. What a relief to finally have something to show for all my time over here.

Since I've last written I've watched a few movies, worked my fingers to the bone, and eaten my fair share of sushi. Oh, and I almost swapped Prague for Vilnius (the capitol of Lithuania). My buddy, Turtle, is currently playing (serving the Army) in the sandbox (Afghanistan) and they are sending him to Vilnius this weekend for some work-slash-trouble. Unfortunately I found out after I booked all of Prague and it would have cost me several hundred dollars to switch. Sorry, Turtle. I'll see you when you get back to the States around the same time I do.

Sunday was, again, movie day. I watched "March of the Penguins" and "The Nutty Professor," the original version with Jerry Lewis, before actually hitting a real theater and taking in "Underworld: Evolution."

"March of the Penguins" was pretty good, but I have to say that penguins aren't as noble as the movie cracks them up to be. The movie makes them out to be these monogomous creatures, but they're not. Sure, each season they take on a mate and stay faithful. Faithful for about the time it takes them to make, grow, and have the baby. After that, they're gone, leaving each other, AND the baby to fend for itself. Now if I were to have sex once a year, each time with a different woman, knock her up, and stick around until the baby was born, would that make me noble and altruistic? No, it would make me a whore. A whore who owes alot of child support. And if that child were to die because I was too young and impetuous to properly shift the egg from mother to father and it froze, or I lost it and it froze, or I let it starve to death, would that make me responsible. No, it would make me jailbate for some guy named Bubba. So, penguins, I have one little bit of advice: use a condom.

"The Nutty Professor" was surprisingly good. I normally shy away from Jerry Lewis because he's always seemed so annoying. But this movie was as good, if not better than, the remake. Not that that's saying alot. But still, it was fun to watch on a lonely Sunday afternoon. I will say this, those that made the remake wisely chose to have the professor get together with a coworker rather than a student. Smart move.

Finally, "Underworld: Evolution" was the sequel to the original "Underworld," a tale about the war between the vampires and their slaves, the werewolves. The first movie was good, if only to see Kate Beckinsale in leather. The second movie was good ONLY to see Kate Beckinsale in leather, and out of it, too. It was a forced tale attempting to delve into the history of the war between the races, and bring that feud to a stunning conclusion. Unfortunately that stunning conclusion was, well, stunning only in that it was so anticlimactic. So, bottom line is: if you want to see pieces parts of Kate's booby, go see this movie. Or, for the ladies out there (and some of the boys, too), if you want to see Scott Speedman's tushy, join the fellas already in line.

Other than that I've been struggling daily with trying to remotely control my life back in the States from over here, dealing with things like filing for an IRS extension on my taxes and shopping for a new home, but I'm getting the hang of it. It's also fun adding to my photography collection which Kristen has been pimping, quite promisingly I might add, to some vendors. I've got a few silly posts following this one so I'll sign off now. Wish me luck in Prague. Though I hear they're having their worst cold snap in 25 years. Better bring my long johns...

3AM

2006-01-21T12:15:00.000-05:00

Eternal. Remember KLF? I do. But that's not the point. That's how late I was up last night (well, 3:30 actually) watching the last episodes of "Lost: Season One." Call me addicted, because I am. My Mother's and Kristen's plan to keep me holed up in my flat backfired, sort of. The thing is, less than a month after Christmas, I've finished "Lost: Season One, " "Stargate SG-1: Season One, " and "Stargate SG-1: Season Two." Maybe now I can sleep.

That's the way with these things (books, magazines, hobbies, movies, etc.) for me. I jump right in with both feet and steamroll forward until it's over. Well, now it's over. Okay, not really. There's still the other 6 seasons of "Stargate SG-1" which I have yet to purchase, and I just received confirmation from a friend back in the States that she'll send me her copies of "Lost: Season Two" that she's recorded so far. I think tonight I'll watch "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" Special Extended Edition. Don't worry, though, I'll get out soon enough.

So, what have I been up to? What will I be up to? I'll tell you. This past week has been great. I've run decent 4-mile times every other day plus today, so that's good. I've also been able to stay consistent on my sit-ups and push-ups. Can you say "solid?" I know it's nothing like when I was training, but it's actually making me happier than I've been in awhile. It's nice to get back to basics and not actually be training for something. That being said, I have agreed to do another UK "Cross Country" race in February. It's a 15K and, if it's anything like the last one, I'll be needing new trainers. I also forgot to mention I signed up for the Chicago Marathon in October. Decided to do that one insead of the Marine Corps Marathon this year. I've been doing the MCM for six years straight and it's time for a bit of a change.

Okay, so other than watching tons of the tube and working out I haven't been doing too much else. We shipped one of my coworkers from the States over here this week so that was good to have another yank in the pot at work. It's kept me busy but I'm positive that it will make for a more successful project. I shipped him off to Italy this weekend to see an old friend of his. Had to pull a few strings at work for him to make it happen but I'm sure he appreciates it. Besides, I'm going to Prague next weekend.

That's right: Friday through Monday I'll be on Holiday in the wonderful Czech Republic city of Prague. Can't wait. I get there Friday afternoon and start off with a river dinner cruise. Should be great. Then, Saturday, I'm doing a walking tour of the city followed by a medieval pub tour that night. The evening tour is said to be awesome. We end up in some old pub outside the city with nearly unlimited food and drink, and apparently the people treat you like shit. Just like in the old days. I think. Then, Sunday I'm signed up for another walking pub tour that evening. Other than that I'm just planning on running around (maybe even actually running) and snapping some photos. I'll fill you in when I get back.

Today was like any other day, other than waking up a bit later (happens when you stay up late). Got up, did some chores around the house, including starting to plan for Katie and her boyfriend's visit in February. Then I went for a run and dropped off my dry cleaning. Guess what was after that. Well, sushi as usual. I'm growing more and more addicted to Sakura's spicy tuna hand rolls. They use Old Bay seasoning and mayo. I had 3 orders today. Yummy.

Now I'm just relaxing watching the special features on the "Lost" DVD. Hey, thought you might like to see this article I ran acros today. A whale is swimming up the River Thames in London. "Look Kids: Big Ben, Parliament." Literally. Hopefully the big guy is alright. Oh, and to my friends in D.C. let this be a lesson to you: fetuses do not count in the carpool lane.

Dan Brown - The Formula

2006-01-17T05:24:00.000-05:00

Dan Brown has written four novels: The DaVinci Code, Angels and Demons, Digital Fortress, and Deception Point, not necessarily in that order. Click on the links for the plot summaries if you want. I've read all of them. Rather than review all of them seperately, or even truly review all of them at all, I thought I'd retouch on what I mentioned when I reviewed "The DaVinci Code."

"Dan Brown wrote one helluva book. But, from what I hear, he wrote it several times and called each something different, so I may not be reading any of the others. Regardless, this book rocked. It's no wonder it's been the buzz of the world for years now, and I'll say that, if you haven't already, this is one book you must not miss. "

So, the first question is, "Is that true? Did Dan Brown write the same novel four times and simply rename it?" The answer is a resounding "No." Each novel had a different plot and, in two of the four novels, even had a different main character.

However, while the novels are in fact different, the plot elements are not. He likes heroes with a deep fear of something (often stemming from a childhood accident). He likes antagonists with scarred egos (often stemming from a betrayal by "the man"). And he likes cripples. Oh, and he likes it when the protagonist finds love, you know, that kind that occurs when two people are placed in stressful and life-threatening situations together (ala "Speed"). And it helps when those people haven't been able to love for awhile (also stemming from a blemished past).

So the formula goes something like:

take troubled, but brilliant, protagonist,
add world-altering event, usually of the "people's faith" variety,
throw in another troubled, but brilliant, person of the opposite sex, to help the protagonist,
take the antagonist, hide them in the shadows to pull strings like a puppet-master,
toss in a few false leads, to lead them on a merry chase, often across the globe,
and finally reveal all in a stunning climax, thus saving the world.
Oh, and it helps if the bad guy is either a cripple, or a trusted leader/confidante of some sort.

Does this make any of the books, or all of the books, bad? Not at all. I enjoyed them all. Each was different enough to provide enjoyment, nothing more. Do you stop eating chocolate because it tastes the same? Nope. So, grab some chocolate, a few of these novels, and relax. Enjoy.

"Million Little Pieces" - A Fraud?

2006-01-17T05:05:00.000-05:00

Kristen asked for this book ("Million Little Pieces" by James Frey) for Christmas, so I went to store after store after store looking for it. Everywhere it was sold out. After I finally found it I'm not too ashamed to admit that I started reading it before I wrapped it up to give to her. Before I knew it I was 50 or so pages in with little chance of stopping. Luckily I realized my deception would be discovered in the form of a broken spine (the book's, not mine) had I not stopped. So I did, but not before knowing that I would pick this book up again. While I have not yet done so (I've been busy watching "Stargate SG-1") I thought those of you that have read it, or even those of you that have not, might be interested in all the news lately that's surrounding this little book.

For starters, this book is about the author (it's an autobiographical novel) and his journey through rehab, after waking up on a plane, clueless of where was, how he got there, or how he came to be bloodied and bruised. That's the part that I read. Apparently it goes on to tell of his involvement in various nefarious plots and federal investigations and such. According to CNN, someone (The Smoking Gun)thinks he's lying. Or, at least, exaggerating. While Oprah and her book club (a good crew to have on your side) may back him, his publisher, Random House, is offering a refund to those that purchased the book directly through them.

So the question is, would you feel ripped off if you read what is apparently a life-altering novel based on someone's life if you found out they lied, or exaggerated the facts? Would it alter your enjoyment of the book, or the benefit you gained from reading it, knowing this? And would you pick the book up now, not having read it before, but knowing that it is full of lies?

Isn't a book just a book? At least, isn't this book just a book? We're not talking about a history book claiming that France was responsible for winning World War II. We're talking about some guy making his life out to be more that it really was. Don't we all do that anyway to some degree or another? My bottom line: I'll read it, even if I have to pick it up from the fiction section of the book store. And perhaps that's where it belongs anyway.

Aftermath

2006-01-15T07:49:00.000-05:00

So, it’s been a week since my Holiday ended, and I have to be honest with you, it’s been boring playing catch-up. So I’ll keep this short. I’ve enjoyed my work the past 2 weeks, primarily because I’ve been learning a little bit of java programming and working with it. I think it would definitely be something I could do for a living. We shall see. I’ve started running again, after about a month off, and even started doing sit-ups (to ditch the holiday paunch) and push-ups (to lose the man-teets). And finally, I’ve been working on catching up with my writing (as if you cannot tell). Plus I’ve spent the past two days cleaning my flat. Yesterday it was the kitchen and the bathroom, and today it is the vacuuming and the wine stain.

The Long Road Home

2006-01-15T07:26:00.000-05:00

Friday brought another day of work, a long meeting, and a bus back to London. It was Kristen’s last weekend over here, so we were to spend the weekend relaxing and maybe seeing a few more sights. Unfortunately on the bus ride there wasn’t much to see. Not even the pages of my book. The damn lights were broken on the bus so I had to read by the light of my iPod, at least until we hit Heathrow and were able to procure another set of seats on the bus. Ones with working lights. Hey, I need to keep busy, okay?

Once in London it was back to our old hotel, but there was no sign of Kiefer. I wonder if I upset him. I hope not. He needs to concentrate on his career, not etiquette.

It was late, so it was off to find some sushi. Unfortunately our luck in that department hadn’t been doing so well over the past week. Save for the sushi in Cheltenham the rest had been sub-par, and this place in Chinatown wasn’t much better. Something was wrong with the nori (the green ‘paper’ they wrap rolls in) making the sushi taste funny. But I wasn’t laughing. So we cut our losses and went off for some brews.

A friend had recommended this place, Waxy O'Connors, so we went there. This place was huge, and very intricately done out in all these wood staircases and such. But it was also crowded. Very crowded. Granted it was a Friday night, and on any other weekend I should think we’d have enjoyed it there, especially if we were with a bunch of friends. But I was looking for something a bit more, well, intimate, so that we could talk without shouting and order beers without elbowing. So we went back to the little Italian restaurant/bar and hung out for a bit.

The next morning it was off to St. Paul’s Cathedral to climb the stairs to the top. I’ve chatted about that place before so I’ll just remind you how beautiful it is. Here are some snaps from there:

We then crossed over to the south side of the river and contemplated warming up inside the Globe Theater, but that looked too boring, so we opted for some warm drinks instead and a pub by Big Ben. On the way we met this juggler. Nice guy, but I think he was a bit drunk or, maybe, not quite right in the head.

The pub was great and Kristen finally got the hot dog she’d been craving all week on the way to Leicester Square to see “The Cronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.” It was even better the second time around. Maybe it was the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream beforehand. Or maybe it was the popcorn. Or just possibly it was that I was sober. Yeah, that was probably it.

After Narnia we were in the mood for another small pub, so we found this other bar a bit off the beaten path and proceeded to chat the night away, and then get lost trying to walk back to the hotel. I’d been doing so well up to that point so one could forgive me this time. But it took a taxi to get us near enough the hotel that we were happy. We were even happier to walk past the sausage vendor. I had like three myself. But be warned: late-night sausages are like late-night kebabs, and with them comes early morning stomach-aches. But drunks don’t worry about those things at the time, do they? Nope, they just cross that bridge when they come to it. One last drink at the Italian bar and it was off to bed.

Sunday was indeed a sad day, so I won’t linger on it. We grabbed a taxi to Paddington Station and then boarded the Heathrow Express to the airport. After some trials and tribulations getting her checked in we went our separate ways, her on her plane, and I on my bus. It was time to return to our respective worlds, for now.

Home Town Holiday

2006-01-14T17:53:00.000-05:00

Sort of. Cheltenham isn’t really my home town. And I wasn’t really on Holiday any more. But I liked the ring of the title, so sue me. From Glasgow, a quick plane ride into London, and a nice walk to the bus station, found us on a bus headed for Cheltenham. Back in Cheltenham later Monday evening it was time to walk back to the flat. I pointed out the sights on the way and it was off for bed, but first, more presents! It was time for my third Christmas. The first was with Derek and Kelly, actually on Christmas Day; the second was with Kristen the following Tuesday morning. And that evening the third was unwrapping more from Kristen (the ones she shipped that had been haunting my dreams for well over a week). And we still had yet to pick up my family’s presents. How lucky am I to get four Christmases? No, wait, I actually get five if you count the ones I still have on my way from Kristen. Awesome!

So, on to the presents. Remember I told you about the wonderful photos she framed for my family? Well, she framed a few for me, too! Now I have the bench by Devil’s Chimney in a beautiful wicker frame, Abbey Road looking gorgeous, and a great quote by Bill Rodgers that she made up herself. Absolutely stunning.

Not much went on that week, other than showing her around my town, until I finally got to pick up my family’s presents, which I already told you about. There was a bit of a delay in getting them. I showed up late on Wednesday and the post office was closed. Seems the smaller branches, like this one (which is located in the back of a corner shop), have half days on Wednesdays. And speaking of this little corner shop, the lady wouldn’t take my Scottish bills, which is illegal. But what are you going to do? Scotland also uses the British currency, but it is printed out of the Bank of Scotland so it looks different, but spends the same. Or, at least, it is supposed to.

Thursday night, our last night in Cheltenham together, I gathered some of my coworkers and had them meet us down the street at the Conservatory, for some beers and a chance to meet her. We had a great time there, after which they showed us the glory that is the late night Kebab. And, after the late night Kebab, comes the early morning stomach-ache.

New Year's and New Adventures

2006-01-14T17:09:00.000-05:00

Touchdown. The adventure continues…in Glasgow. Turns out Glasgow is much like Gloucester and Edinburgh is much like Cheltenham. Gloucester is down the road from me, near work, and Cheltenham is where I live. Gloucester is a dock town, more industrial, as is Glasgow, and Cheltenham is a bit like a small Arlington, as is Edinburgh. But don’t let that fool you, both towns were great, and I wouldn’t have chosen to spend New Year’s Eve any other place than Glasgow, for Edinburgh was much too crowded, like London on a Friday night.

Boy, was it cold, though, and me without my P-Coat. No worries, a quick trip to the Gap and I was kitted out with a lovely wool sweater (which is no more) and a wonderful scarf. Halfway around the world and I still shop at the Gap. What a world.

We met up with Derek and Kelly at the Glasgow Cathedral, which was beautiful, one of my favorites I would think. And right next door was the hospital, in this old building. But, a little worrisome was the fact that next to the hospital was the Glasgow Necropolis. A huge cemetery. Not the message I’d like to be sending my patients. It was great though, and next to that, was the Tennet’s brewery. Maybe that’s how they keep the hospital patients from worrying. Not a bad beer.

After touring the cathedral and Necropolis it was time for some grub. We went to this place called Frankenstein 1818, apparently “World famous.” But when any place makes that claim themselves I’m less inclined to believe it. Fact is, though, that the food was good, even the Haggis and Teets. Every so often Frankenstein would be lowered from the ceiling and “brought to life.” They even had a card magician come around. His card tricks were bar none pretty fucking amazing. Even when I was looking for the sleight of hand I couldn’t catch it; had he asked for a tip he’d have gotten it. Not bad for a chain restaurant.

After dinner it was off for our first pub crawl together, and what a time we had. When it’s cold outside, what better way to keep warm than by stopping in every bar on your way home? No better way, that’s what I say. And no better time could have been had on our first night in Glasgow. In the morning we’d be off to Edinburgh by train so it was time for some sleep. Bourbon But Smoother? Is that like beer goggles?

Waking up to rain when you’re planning to be walking around a city all day is never a good thing, but we pushed past that and hopped the train to Edinburgh. Once there the girls picked up a second set of umbrellas, Kristen, of course, getting a plaid one.

A quick walk past the ferris wheel by the church and we were at the museum. A museum which doesn’t allow photography is never a good thing for a person that often uses photography to keep the A.D.D. in check, but I made it through, only mildly annoying everyone.

As we climbed the hill towards Edinburgh Castle the rain began to let up, and finally start. How nice. The castle was gorgeous. Outside these ominous clouds were hanging over the hills in the distance, but inside was a bustling “little city of tourists.” The only downside was getting drawn into seeing the “Crown Jewels” which turned out to be a tiny room at the end of a long line of people winding through like fifty other rooms of mannequins in period dress. Boring.

I’d been filling up my 1GB memory card and burning it to CDs all week, and after the castle it was time to do it again, so Kristen and I left Derek and Kelly and went to Camera Obscura to get the job done. On the way we listened a bit to a bagpiper, which is my favorite instrument alongside the harpsichord. How on Earth I can find something that sounds like someone strangling a wet cat so beautiful is beyond me, but I do.

And then the Hare Krishna caught us. Call it my one good deed of the day, paying a guy 16 pounds for a CD I didn’t want (thanks to Kristen) and some books I’d never read. But all was put well in the world again (sort of) when burning the CDs took so long that they gave them to me for free, plus a bottle of water for Kristen, and a key chain for Derek and Kelly.

Guess what happened after that? That’s right, another pub crawl. This one was chock full of beer, little shots of Bailey’s in chocolate shot glasses, televisions presenting the World Championship of Darts (yes, darts), and the name game. But, alas, it could not last, and it was time to return to Glasgow on the train and catch some Z’s.

Saturday morning (New Year’s Eve) the sickness struck. Poor Kristen hadn’t been feeling well for a few days, but that day it was worse. But, like the trooper she is, she gutted it out. Gutted it out, that is, until she emptied those same guts upon arrival at the Science Museum. Science museums are great because they make you feel like a kid again. At least, they do if you spent most of your childhood, and your adulthood for that matter, being a geek. We watched a program on electricity, and one on the weather, and even got to build a contraption to try and drop an egg 30 feet without breaking it. And, of course, ours was the last to go, and the last not to break. I’m so proud of our team. Others weren't so lucky.

Finding some place to eat on New Year’s Eve was a bit of a task, but we finally found a tiny little Italian joint. The food was good. After sitting down Derek and I started to wonder if the bottle of Vodka we picked up earlier was going to be enough. Well, the worry got the best of us and we skipped out to buy some more. Good thing we did, too, because turns out we needed it. Anyway, dinner was delicious, as was the wine. Time to prepare for the celebration, back at the hotel.

After quite a few screwdrivers and some vodka tonics one finds it difficult to pry away from watching the Simpsons and actually attend the event for which one came to Glasgow in the first place, but I’m glad we did. It was just the right amount of people and the band, Athlete, was fantastic. Kissing Kristen at midnight in Scotland was definitely a highlight of my journeys here in England. Even kissing her after she was sick (I hope she brushed her teeth). But speaking of sickness, it wiped her out, so we cut out early and went back to the hotel, where some drunk girls in the elevator gave me their Scottish flag. Nice! I don’t even think we heard Derek and Kelly come in.

The next morning we walked around a bit with Derek and Kelly, and ate lunch at the only place open that day, a department store (yes, really), before seeing them off. Then it was time for much needed rest and relaxation at the hotel. We spent the better part of the day there reading. But later that night we skipped out across the street for a bit of folk music at the local pub we’d visited before. We were only going to stay a little while but this couple (him English, and her Scottish) recognized us from the hotel and invited us to join them. It was well worth it, though for the life of me I had the damndest time understanding her, and I pride myself on deciphering accents. Either way it was a good way to end our last night in Scotland.

The next morning we were supposed to go falconing, but were both too tired, so we spent yet another day relaxing at the hotel (with a brief jaunt to the pub on the high street for some lunch), before grabbing a taxi with a talkative, but well-traveled driver, back to the airport. Our time in Glasgow had finally come to an end.

The Road to Glasgow...

2006-01-14T14:08:00.000-05:00

...Is paved with Beafeaters, gay bars, and Kiefer Sutherland. Or so the old stories say. And I’m here to tell you that the legends are true. Beafeaters don’t eat beef, gay bars do have velvet wallpaper, and Kiefer Sutherland doesn’t mind having a door or two slammed in his face. How do I know? I know because I have traveled the road to Glasgow, and I have lived the stories.

Okay, so it sounds much more melodramatic than it actually was, but it WAS a good time between Christmas and New Years. When we last talked I had called it a night (mainly because it was a night, and not a buffalo), and lay down for some rest before picking Kristen up from the train station.

Our story continues from the cold, metal benches of Paddington Station in London. The benches are cold because the entire place is pretty much open to the elements, and we’d soon be granted a white, albeit brief, Christmas. I had just returned from walking Kelly’s parents to the Heathrow Express (call it fate that we saw each other there) and settled onto one of those cold benches to await Kristen. She was not in the best of moods when she got there, but traveling 8+ hours on a plane and arriving only to realize you forgot your camera, and your boyfriend’s contact information, can do that to a person. It was so nice to see her, and carry ALL her bags, but it’s only fair b/c in them were my presents!

We made our way to the Strand Palace hotel in the heart of the action, near Parliament, the London Eye, Leicester Square, Covent Garden, and Piccadilly Circus. Basically near everything I thought she’d like to see. We got ourselves checked in and, once in the room (which wasn’t too shabby), exchanged gifts (get your mind out of the gutter – ‘sides, that’s none of your business). Between her and my mother’s gifts you’d think they don’t want me leaving the flat. Kristen got me the first two seasons of “Stargate SG-1” (my geek gift) and all THREE “Lord of the Rings” movies (though the first two are going back in exchange for season three of “Stargate SG-1” since I already had them). Plus I got a travel blanket, a sweater (I asked for a moaner), and cologne. On top of that she had some stuff waiting for me back at my flat that, until I opened them, I had no clue what they were. I’ll tell you about those, and the other 2 gifts I’m still waiting for, later.

We settled in for a quick nap as it snowed outside. Yes, we actually napped. After that, and some showers, it was time to hit the town. I won’t detail everything, but we went for a lovely, photo-filled walk around the River Thames, visiting spots like the National Portrait Museum, Yo! Sushi, the Tower Bridge, and in to a nice place on the water for some drinks and grub. We were both cold, and Kristen was quite the trooper, for suffering through my photography (though many were corrupted somehow upon download – bummer).

Here are some that survived:

From there we met up with Derek and Kelly, and two of their friends for the Ceremony of the Keys. But somehow I lost the tickets between the restaurant and the front gate. Luckily the nice Beafeater remembered there was a party of ten (I over-estimated) on the guest list and let us in. We got to see the ceremonial closing of the Tower of London, and the transfer of the gate keys. This is a process that has been going on for a long, long time (though probably without the prying eyes of dozens of tourists and one, quite upset, autistic child). It was a pretty cool experience, and it was free. I’d recommend it. After that it was time for bed.

The following morning we slept in. I’ll say no more. I awoke to find that, not only did I lose the tickets the previous night, I also lost my sunglasses (my FAVORITE sunglasses), but I think they were stolen. No worries. It was off to the British Museum. This place is home to the Rosetta Stone, and so much more. I’d show you pictures but they were all in the batch of those that got corrupted. But I will say this: you should go. We spent the evening taking another stroll around London, getting some nice shots of Big Ben and Parliament at sunset, and in the rain.

Here are those:

It was time to finish our evening with a few pints of brew, which were quite delicious. I’ve turned Kristen on to 1664, which is a good beer from Kronenberg. On our way home yours truly needed to use a restroom so Kristen steers us into “Halfway to Heaven” or, as she called it, “Highway to Heaven” which in a minute you’ll know what highway that is. We take a seat and I head downstairs (most pubs in England have their toilets in the basement) and make my way to the restroom. There are AIDS awareness flyers everywhere and pictures of scantily clad men, too. That’s when it hit me, the wet smack of a gay man’s penis on my forehead. Okay, not really, and thank God for that, but what did hit me was the realization that Kristen had taken us to a gay bar, which turns out to be a recurring talent of hers. I get back upstairs and the first words out of both or our mouths, at precisely the same time are, “I think we’re in a gay bar.” If the pictures on the wall weren’t enough, the fact that there was only one other woman (and I use the term loosely – she was build like Rocky) in the bar besides Kristen helped, and the velvet paisley wallpaper took it over the top. But the beer was good and my bladder was empty.

It was one more stop in this quaint little Italian restaurant/bar for a few vodka tonics before home. Kristen immediately fell in love with the Italian bartender, who was literally fresh off the boat, and also from her favorite part of Italy: Tuscany. I couldn’t get her to hush up long enough to get another drink. After a few drinks I had to pry them off each other (not really) and make our way to the hotel, and that’s when it happened. I slammed the door to the hotel in Kiefer Sutherland’s face.

I was still cranky from the loss of my sunglasses, and a little tipsy to boot, so let me explain. You know when you’re approaching a set of doors and someone is following you in, but you don’t know if you should hold the door for them. They’re either close enough to you to force you to be polite, or they’re far enough away that it’s just a waste of time? But then there’s that little bit of middle ground where the coin could fall either way, and you’re stuck? Well, that’s where he was, and like I said, I was cranky, so sorry, Kiefer. Granted I didn’t know it at the time. I mean, what would he be doing staying in our hotel, where you can’t get your toilet to flush, but can hear your neighbor’s working just fine, and where the buses rattle your windows. But Kristen starts FLIPPING out whispering gibberish to me, which I finally decipher to be, “Kiefer Sutherland just walked in behind us.” I’m like, “You mean the guy with two bags who I let the door shut in his face?” That’s the one. I slowed and pulled to the side to let him pass and sure enough, it was he. It became a running joke the rest of the week where I would say I slammed the door in Christian Slater’s face, or Kevin Bacon, or anyone with a particularly K sounding name.

The next morning (we’re now on Thursday, December 29th by the way) was spent packing our bags and rushing to the train station, where we were to take the Heathrow Express to the airport. Time to fly to Glasgow. And time did fly, so fast. So fast, in fact, we were late, the help at British Airways was rude, and we made our plane with less than a minute to spare after lugging ALL of our luggage to the terminal. Hurry up and wait. Turns out the plane was late in taking off anyway, but I will say this: man, were those leather seats comfortable. The plane was off the ground, I was finishing my third Dan Brown novel, and the next stop was Glasgow.

Christmas in London

2006-01-14T11:44:00.000-05:00

Well, it’s been awhile, a long while since I’ve written anything, and for that I’m sorry. Actually, I’m not really sorry. As you know I’ve been away on holiday and last week was spent catching up on all the work I left behind. Leaving work to go on vacation is, at times, rather like passing a rest stop on the way home even though you have to use the restroom. You think everything will be okay when you finally get back, but inevitably all that shit is still waiting for you when you walk through that door. But I’m back, and it’s time to tell you a bit about what I’ve been up to. Nothing quite like a stomach full of sushi goodness to put you in the mood to chat.

This year I stayed in England for Christmas, much to my mother’s dismay. But, really, what does she care? She couldn’t even get my presents here on time. Just kidding, Mom. The poor lady will never use USPS again to ship me things. For over a week my presents were stuck somewhere between the borders of the U.S. and the U.K. surprisingly out of reach to both carriers. So, long story short, I finally got my gear, but my mother can’t get a refund because neither country is assuming responsibility. But the gifts were great. I got a cool “Liger” shirt, some Sudoku, maddening Sudoku puzzles, “March of the Penguins,” the orginal “Nutty Professor,” the first season of “Lost,” AND pretzels! Yummy pretzels. Anyway, back to the story at hand. I’ll try to keep it short, but bear with me, there is much to tell.

Christmas Eve found me on a bus to London where, upon my arrival, I found myself a pub and had a pint. Good start to the holiday. From there I met up with Derek and Kelly, my hosts for Christmas. So nice of them, though after meeting Kelly’s parents I think they wanted me there to run a little interference. Her parents are great, especially her mother, but her father can be a bit, well, headstrong. And so can Kelly so… you can see where I was going with that one. Moving on, after getting there, the girls (Kelly and her mother) went shopping, leaving the boys to walk around town snapping photos. I got some amazing photos walking down along the Thames, across the Tower Bridge, and into the City of London. The City of London is the financial district of London, where all the money is at, but the people aren’t. At least on the weekends they’re not, leaving us pretty much the entire area to ourselves. It was great. My favorite shot from that night, I think, is one of the “Egg” at night using my new wide angle lens.

Christmas morning was great. We slept in and then, after Kelly’s parents arrived, presents! They even got me some, which was not necessary, but much appreciated. One of the presents was “Hangover Tea.” How cool. I spent most of the morning snapping some photos for them, and then we went to THE most expensive Christmas dinner ever. Something like 50 pounds per person (that’s about $90 to you yanks). It was a good meal, though, and I’d say well worth it. We walked back through Trafalgar Square and caught a taxi back to Derek and Kelly's. The rest of the night was pretty much a wash spent making delicious cookies (and eating them). That evening I took a call from my family back in the States. All of them. Well, most of them anyway. Apparently I picked the year that they all had dinner at my parents. I got to talk to my mother, my step-father, my sister, 2 of her 4 kids, my granmother, my pappy, AND my Aunt and Uncle. It was a long call. But they loved my photographs, due in large part to the wonderful job Kristen did framing them. Thanks, Kristen.

The following day I left the family to their devices and walked around a bit on my own, hitting places like the Marble Arch and Regent’s Park, before heading to meet the gang on the north end of town. Derek and Kelly bought everyone tickets to see the Chronic, what, cles of Narnia at this great theater that had couches and served beer and liquor, similar to the Drafthouse but much more upscale. That night we stopped in at Derek and Kelly’s local Irish haunt for a few pints before calling it a night, since I had to meet up with Kristen in the morning. Joy! I’ll write more about that later, but I hope you enjoyed the story so far.

I'm Back! Sort Of...

2006-01-04T06:41:00.000-05:00

Finally have access to a computer, and I want to apologize for being absent, both the past week AND in the coming days. I'm heading back into London this weekend to see Kristen off and I won't see her for awhile so I'm going to make the most of it while she's here.

Unfortunately that means not (yet) writing about the many adventures we've all been having over here (KidGirl and CanYouHearMeNow included). These stories deserve more attention than I can give them at the moment. So do the photos I plan on posting. I will say this, however: while in London last week I accidently slammed a door in Kiefer Sutherland's face. More to follow.

With that I wish you all Happy Holidays and hope that you continue to have a blast.

We Want the Chronic...What?

2005-12-23T15:51:00.000-05:00

Just got back from a 4-person rendition of "A Christmas Carol" at the Everyman. It was a great way to open the Christmas weekend, and begin my whirlwind Holiday. I'm glad I went. What I'm not glad about is the fact that my mother's presents seem to have been lost en route to my flat somewhere between her house and, say, England. Sad, really. Hopefully it all works out. I'm excited to get started on my holiday, though. Tomorrow I leave for London so this will be my last entry for awhile, but I hope to have plenty of stories (and photos) upon my return. All the best to you and yours!

Well, last week I finished the precursor to the "Chronicles of Narnia," a little book called "The Wizard's Nephew." This short story sets up how Narnia was created, how evil found it's way there, and how such a magnificent portal as the wardrobe came into existence. I recommend it. And I'm not the only one with the Chronic fever. Check out this hilarious music video from SNL. Great.

Well, that's it for now. Have a great Holiday, all. Peace.

"The DaVinci Code"

2005-12-23T02:53:00.000-05:00

Dan Brown wrote one helluva book. But, from what I hear, he wrote it several times and called each something different, so I may not be reading any of the others. Regardless, this book rocked. It's no wonder it's been the buzz of the world for years now, and I'll say that, if you haven't already, this is one book you must not miss.

Robert Langdon is a bookworm that loves symbols in the world, but most of all he loves symbols of pagan religion hidden in Christianity. Sophie Neveu is a dame who loves messing with codes. When they're brought together after the murder of her grandfather, Jacques Sauniere, a bad-ass at the Louvre, all Hell breaks loose. Suddenly they find themselves in search of the Holy Grail, hoping to find it before the Church does, who wants to destroy it. But what is the Grail? And why does the Church want it bad enough to murder for it? And why use a big, naked albino in a robe? Regardless, they find themselves on the run, unable to go to the police, racing against the clock in both France and England, to solve the riddle of the Grail, and the murder of an old man.

Great book. What's even better is I got to see them filming a scene from it for the upcoming movie. Many people were disappointed in the choosing of Tom Hanks as the lead. I guess I didn't have much of a problem with it since I'd already known about it before reading the book. That's usually the case, if you read the book before a movie you've often imagined someone completely different from the actor eventually chosen for the role, but if you read the book after the movie you tend to simply imagine the actor.

So, will I go see the movie? Probably. The book kept me wrapped up in it from beginning to end. He was able to keep the pace up and the mystery thick, all the while teaching you a few things in the process. I like books like that.

Here's a shot of Tom Hanks outside Westminster Abbey. None of these are good shots b/c I had to use the digital zoom on my little camera, but I think you get the picture. You can, however, click on these to enlarge them a bit if you want.

And here's a shot of him and little Richie Cunningham (Ron Howard), the director of this film.

Finally, here's a shot of Jean Reno, one of my favorite actors. He'll be playing Bezu Fache, the Bull.

Oh, Tannenbaum, Oh Tannenbaum

2005-12-20T11:50:00.000-05:00

I'll write more later, but thank you, Katie, for the wonderful Christmas tree AND the singing, almost-Ozzy dog. And thank you, Kristen, for mailing it. Yes, those are some of your Christmas presents.

Okay, just got back from the pubs and realized I'm going to be missing after this week, sort of like Bob's Big Boy. I know, in some ways he's never really left. He still offers good meals at affordable prices. But I will be gone for a bit on my holiday, unable to deliver my holiday cheer. So here's a bit for you, bundled together and sent with joy to all the good little boys and girls. And if you're naughty, which I hope you are, read on anyway.

What holiday would be complete without Mr. Snow Miser and Mr. Heat Miser? None, that's what! So enjoy this Holiday classic.

And if you're like Mr. Heat Miser, well here's a little number that reminds us all of the joy that comes from stomping on little kid's dreams.

Unsure of what to get your pet this year for Christmas? How about braces? They just might be the thing to go perfectly with that artificial bladder you got them for Thanksgiving.

And what better gift for those (now disheartened) children than the new Barney video, together with 2Pac. Oh, be careful, this isn't work safe. At all. Unless you turn the sound down. And if you do, you won't have a clue why it's funny. So just be patient.

I've got to admit, as much as the videos above stomp on Christmas, I'm so excited. I can't wait to open my gifts but, and this is a rarity, I have no clue what my gifts may be this year, and that is even more exciting. I'm hoping for either World Peace or Charlize Theron's phone number.

A Good Weekend

2005-12-19T02:40:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm getting ready for work, and today is a big day for us; we've got a presentation to wrap up the first phase of the project. And then...off for some curry.

This weekend I learned what it is to be truly British. And to be truly British apparently you need to spend your entire Saturday fully functional, BUT recovering from a hangover. Word of advice on what NOT to do on a Friday night in England. Do not, I repeat do not, try to convince the doormen at a club that you are a reporter doing an article on Cheltenham nightlife and your friends are your escorts. Especially if you're not a reporter. And you're hammered. All that ends up happening is you pay to get in anyway AND you look like an ass. Yeah, it was a good night. First we went to some place called the Residence, where I met a bunch of my "coworkers" and was treated to free drinks. And then after that place closed, well, that's when we had the silly idea I just told you about. After a bit at that place I really had to go home. And pass out on the couch. Till 9 AM. Fully dressed.

Saturday was great (other than the hangover). I watched a bit of "Clash of the Titans" and then went for a bit of shopping. And then...sushi. What a good day. I think my hangover finally went away around, oh, say, never, but still a good night.

Sunday I totally lounged around the house, watching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and reading "The DaVinci Code," which is really great by the way. Then I went over to Stu's (one of the guys from Friday night) to watch the football game. Chelsea was playing Arsenal. Not a very good game, but there was beer and spaghetti so all was well and good with the world. AND I'm done wrapping presents.

So, here I sit, getting ready for our presentation, and I'm so excited. Not for the presentation, but for Christmas. It's less than a week away and I can't wait for everyone to open the presents I got them. That PLUS I have no idea what any of MY presents are this year. So exciting. Well, have a great day all!

No photos today, but I will leave you with the perfect gift for your Brit friends...David Hasslehoff! And then you can watch what happens when clay Santa gets nabbed by the cops, or when Santarchy takes over.

Tis the Season...

2005-12-16T06:20:00.000-05:00

...for donating to a charity. Get that last tax deduction in place before the turn of the new year. So, come on, people, click here to donate some fundage to the Club 10-56 Relay for Life Team. It'll make you feeeeeel good. Besides, all the cool kids are doing it. Oh, and I did it, too.

Only 9 Shopping Days Left...

2005-12-16T05:15:00.000-05:00

...so don't forget all those Jew girls. Thanks to Sarah Silverman for reminding me with that little music video. And if you don't know what to get them, perhaps this "little" number would do the trick. Good for all those men in your life, too. PPE, now I know where you got it.

Well, with the holiday season upon us like your Uncle Carl on the maid, and only a few days left to shop, I'm proud to say that I'm finished. Nothing left but the wrapping. For the first time in who knows how long I will NOT be shopping on Christmas Eve and wrapping Christmas morning. It helps that I'll be in London on Saturday to spend some time with my friends.

Each day my goal is to give you a little Christmas joy and advice, much like what I've listed above. Hope you enjoy it.

I watched "Space Cadets" again last night. While it wasn't as funny as the night before, it did have it's moments. One in particular was f*cking brilliant. Two of the "cadets" were to conduct an experiment regarding electricity and vegetables, similar to the potato-powered clock. In this experiment they powered a race track with a kiwi and, in a stunning coup-de-grace, a fax machine with a tomato. Who knew?!

Busy, busy, busy goes the bee with a Monday deadline. Things at work have really prevented me from getting out and running, or just getting out and doing other things. Our first phase demonstration is Monday morning so after that I'm hoping things pick up. I'm also hoping to not have to be here over the weekend. Tonight I'm going out for a few drinks with the guys from work, and tomorrow I'm planning on visiting some series of mining caverns nearby. Should be fun.

I'll leave you with this bit of British colloquialism: "Snogging" is a term used here similar to our P.D.A.s in the States. Two people being, um, affectionate, in public are said to be "snogging." Oh, and they spell yogurt with an "h," as in "yoghurt." For those of you that don't like the stuff you might find the spelling funny.

And, lastly, a photograph for you. A little "Christmas-like" scene from Boston a few years back. Enjoy!

Spaced Out

2005-12-14T17:01:00.000-05:00

I'm loving Channel 4's Space Cadets. Here's the deal on this British reality show: 4 individuals have been picked to be the first civilian astronauts abord a space shuttle. Follow them through the selection process, the training, and finally through their wonderful journey through space. Here's the catch: they never leave the ground. They're all (well, 3 of them - one's an actor) victims of an elaborate ruse, and the first to cry foul wins.

This show is funny, from watching them rewrite science and explain away gravity, to watching them film commercials for russian products, this crap is delicious. Or watching the one space cadet conduct his own experiments and come to the conclusions that he is less fit in space and his apple doesn't rot as fast.

Tomorrow night the cadets who failed to be selected for the program are let in on the secret and then, on Friday, the cadets themselves have the curtain pulled away to reveal that they are in a simulator. Can't wait.

"Frankenstein"

2005-12-13T03:22:00.000-05:00

Frankenstein was a good movie. Even after I found out it was originally made for television in hopes of becoming a new series. In fact, I would prefer it that it had made it to an actual series. I would've watched it.

Seems the good doctor is up to it again, making legions of followers using his wicked arts. But when one of them starts killing the others off it's up to a couple of detectives, with the help of the doctor's original creation, to solve the mystery and hopefully put a stop to the whole thing.

Sure there were loose ends and unanswered questions, but that's understandable because it was to be the first in a continuing story. But, hey, Dean Koontz had a good idea when he thought of this series. Again, too bad it ended here. It would've been a good ride.

"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"

2005-12-13T03:11:00.000-05:00

Once again JK Rowling brings it. She takes us back to Hogwarts and entertains us right up until the end. I say the end because, when the book was first released, I heard a bunch of people were upset. Now I know why. There was quite a shocker (no hand signals, please) in the last fifty pages. And yes I, too, was upset at first, but I'll put my faith in Miss Rowling. I'm just going to pretend she knows what she's doing and move on.

Anyway, Harry finds himself the confidant of Head of Hogwarts, Dumbledore. Seems the old chap wants to teach Harry a few things about a few things. Harry returns to Hogwarts amid the chaos of Voldemort wreaking havoc on the general population. Harry also finds himself the captain of his Quidditch team. And lets not forget his budding crush. Unfortunately, as is Harry's downfall, he seems to keep alot of things to himself which otherwise might have saved him alot of trouble. He spends most of the year chasing Draco Malfoy around, thinking him in the employ of Voldemort and up to no good. Hermione and Ron are going at it as usual, and somewhat jealous about Harry's new potions book that has been penned in by the Half-Blood Prince. But who is the Half-Blood Prince? And is he dangerous? And what is a Horcrux, anyway?

Well, read the book and find out. Continue the journey.

In the News

2005-12-11T11:57:00.000-05:00

Topping the news today, Richard Prior is dead of a heart attack at age 65. It really sucks watching those actors and comedians you grew up with pass on. Richard lived a fast life and burnt out early, but word has it he had fun right up until the end.

In other news the San Francisco Police Department suspended one of their own after finding his video tribute on the web. He claims it was all in fun, and I believe him. These guys work a dangerous, often thankless job. Let them have some fun.

Coffee Coke and Singing Sandwiches? What will they think of next?

Feeling lost and lonely? Unsure of where you are in the universe? Well scientists have the answer! Finally we know our place in the Milky Way.

Ah, british television. Nerds playing with fire.

And you thought you were a bad driver? How about adding bad parent to that, too? Let your 7-year old drive.

Maybe he was at the wheel of this plane that almost hits a skydiver. Almost.

Finally, the first movie in the "The Chronicles of Narnia" series opened to a spirited review.

Mud and Glory

2005-12-11T11:30:00.000-05:00

Two more reasons I run. Well, today there was no Glory. Far from it, in fact. But there was Mud. Miles and miles of Mud. Wet, shoe-sucking mud, sometimes 6 inches deep. It covered the hills. It covered the flats. And after a short time, it covered me, too. In my trainers. No traction, those sneaks. I spent most (okay, ALL) of the race just trying to keep my balance, and I spent most (maybe ALL) of my energy trying not to fall (there's nothing like 'skating' down hill of mud - you should try it).

The Brits idea of a cross-country race was...interesting. Waking to fog as far as the eye can see this morning I wasn't to interested in going. But I'm glad I did. While finishing ten miles in just over an hour and fifty minutes doesn't sound all that good, I was actually pleased. Besides the mud, we were treated with hill after hill after hill AFTER HILL. I'm not talking "come on, gut it out" hills. I'm talking "stumble, ramble, slowly make your way to the top while sucking in air" hills. These things were huge. Let's put it this way: one was so big and so steep that EVERYBODY walked it. Everybody. That's a big hill for 400 people to all walk it.

But at the tops of some of these hills I was treated to views that made me long for my camera. Mist-covered valleys with patches of green hilltops poking out. Rambling palacial estates. Beautifully shaped trees. And perfectly friendly sheep. It was well worth the climbs.

After the finish I indulged in one of the most delicious bacon and egg sandwiches this side of the Pond and beyond. Remember, and this counts as your British lesson for the day, that bacon over here is more like our salted ham over there: thick, greasy, and salty. Oh so delicious.

I'm off for a drink and a bite (smoke and a pancake?), so I may or may not write a bit more today. If not, hope you had a great weekend. I need a nap.

Damn Alarm

2005-12-09T04:17:00.000-05:00

Missed my run this morning b/c my damn alarm didn't go off. Apparently the "On" switch got stuck b/w "On" and "Snooze" confusing it. So I guess it just gave up. Sucks b/c tonight I don't know that I'll have time after work. For one thing I have a phone "interview" with another company tonight. I say "interview" b/c it's not like I can really leave what I'm doing right now, not until this phase is over at least. But we'll see what she has to say and how it goes before we travel any further down that road. I suppose I could always work out around the flat. Word of caution however: when you work out indoors you risk injuring your fish.

Selling the house is turning into a bit more of a pain in the @ss than I had hoped, but I'm sure we'll get through it. It's just tough b/c mixing friends and money is ALWAYS delicate, and mixing friends and LOTS OF money is even harder. Neither of us want to nickel and dime the other so I'm hoping it all comes out in the wash. But, now that it's started, I just want it to be over with. It will be difficult selling the house while I'm over here but I think I have all that squared away.

What would be even harder would be buying a house while I'm over here. Luckily I don't really see that happening. That's either fortunate, or unfortunate, depending on the real estate market lately. Well, we'll just roll the dice and see how they land. For those of you that think land is expensive in the D.C. area, check out this parcel of land that went for the equivalent of 10Billion+ per acre. Wow! Fortunately, taxes on it are only around $5 per year: it's only one square inch.

Okay, so the holidays are upon us, which leads me to my lesson of the day on British colloquialism: When in England, if you truly want to fit in, wish people a "Happy Christmas," and not a "Merry Christmas." While the latter will be understood, the former will make you sound like a local. Sort of like saying "Cheers" instead of "Thanks."

Now, before I post a photo of my own, check out this one-pixel "camera." Be sure to watch the video, too. It's pretty cool.

And now, here's a photo for you:
Here's a shot looking down from the London Eye (or the British Airways London Eye - gotta get those advertising dollars) on the Dali Museum, which is located in the old County Hall. I don't think I've posted this one before, but this is a good time to note that I may do that occassionally, so I apologize in advance. There were a few small modifications to this photo, namely taking out a crane in the background and removing a "spot" from the window of the Eye. Enjoy!

Maybe It's a Liger

2005-12-08T02:42:00.000-05:00

Indonesians discover a new species! Maybe it's a Liger.

Swiss-based environmental group WWF said on Monday its researchers photographed the strange animal, which looks like a cross between a cat and a fox, in the dense, central mountainous rainforests of Borneo.

Is it a Liger?

"What are you drawing?"
"A liger. "
"What's a liger?"
"It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its
skills in magic."

You know what’s funny: A liger is real!

Imagine...

2005-12-08T02:06:00.000-05:00

...what music might be like today had Mark David Chapman not waited outside John Lennon's home exactly 25 years ago today. Most people my age may not remember that fateful day, but we certainly remember being influenced by the Beatles' sound. Between them, Pink Floyd, and Led Zeppelin I certainly found my love of "Daddy's music." I can still listen to them today and smile. So, think about it, think about why that @ss is still in prison, denied parole, hopefully forever. It's a sad day when we lose anybody. It's sadder still when we lose a musical icon well before their time.

I took this early on in my stay here with Derek and Kelly. Seems fitting:

Does that have you feeling a bit down? Perhaps under the weather? Well the magazine, Entertainment Weekly, recommends these movies to pass the time and make you feel better.

Still not feeling quite up to snuff? How about a joke?

An Irishman goes to the Doctor with bottom problems. "Dactor, it's me harse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot". So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.
"Incredible" he says, "there is a £20 note lodged up here." Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a £10 note appears.
"This is amazing!" exclaims the Doctor. "What do you want me to do?
"Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man!" shrieks the patient. The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and another and another, etc. Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.
"Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter, how moch is dare den?"
The Doctor counts the pile of cash. " £1,990 exactly."
"Ah, dat'd be roit", says the Irishman "I knew I wasn't feeling two grand."

Okay, okay, fine. If you're not going to cheer up you might as well start drinking. Besides, here's 10 reasons to drink during the holidays.

Well, I don't have much to add today. Working 12-hour days doesn't leave alot of time for other activities (besides reading). I'm going for another lunch run today. Let's hope I don't get dropped. This Sunday I'm doing a 10-mile Cross Country race in Ludlow with a few guys from work. It's apparently a pretty hilly course, which I hate, but it gets me out of the house. Wish me luck!

Jack Frost

2005-12-07T05:37:00.000-05:00

Nosing at your Nips. Greetings, all! Had my first sub-zero run this morning. Sub-zero Centigrade, that is, but still quite cold. There was frost on the ground and the trails were slippery from where the previous rains had frozen over making for quite a tiring run. Luckily the run was only 3 miles so I didn't suffer long. I will say that my Mountain Hardwear jacket rocks! That thing is so warm when you're on the move that you often have to unzip it, though it cools down quickly once you stop. And my Garmin Forerunner 201 has been acting up lately and not finding satellites quickly. Have to figure that one out.

Anyway, I don't have much to offer today, as I worked late last night so I didn't do much, except what? That's right! I read. I finished "Knife of Dreams" a few days ago, by Robert Jordan. It's book 11 in his Wheel of Time series. A great book and a good series, if you ask me. I will say, however, that it was quite slow (and overly political) for the past few books, until this one. This one was great, with many loosed ends on their way to being tied up. The last in the series comes out next year and I can't wait. I've started "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" and so far it's shaping up to be just as good as the rest. It's great to enjoy reading a book so much that you look down and suddenly you're already over 100 pages in.

I picked up my dry cleaning today. Had the same incompetent woman, though. But we found my shirts and I even got to see how they bagged them. You know how your dry cleaning always comes back in these bags with the hangers sticking out the top? Well I always just assumed they had a roll of these bags, similar to garbage bags, and they just pulled one off and slipped it over. It seems I was wrong, and that process would just take too long. This place had a machine attached to a roll of the bags, except the bags weren't seperated; they were more like a tube. Anyway, you hang the clothes on this machine and drag the roll down over the hanger. Then they press a hot edge around the hanger, similar to those vacuum pack machines, that cuts and seals the edges around the top of your clothes. Finally they just pull that newly formed "bag" down over the hanger and -voila!- you have your garment bag. Okay, maybe it's not that interesting to you, but I thought it was cool to see such a customized piece of machinery as that.

Okay, I need to get back to work, so here's your taste of British culture:
The British LOVE to roll their own cigarettes. I suppose it makes them feel a little more validated for charring their lungs. Me, I just think it's too much work. What this DOES do, however, is lead first-time American tourists to walk around thinking everyone is smoking pot in public, unless of course you know what marijuana smells like. But, yeah, at first glance it does look like that.

And, finally, your photo of the day:
Here's a photo I call "Lonely Soldier" that I took on my way to Buckingham Palace. I think it was at some other military base around there. Not sure of the name. Anyway, there were no mods to this photo other than your general sharpening and color/contrast balancing. It's one of my favorites.

Oh, Jared, guess what? You should've waited. Christina Applegate is getting divorced!

And finally, your moment of Zen. Have a great day, all!

Suicide of One

2005-12-06T05:23:00.000-05:00

Well, it's raining again as I sit here eating my regular breakfast consisting of a toasted peanut butter and chocolate milk. I'll be leaving for work in a bit, but I wanted to tell you about the death I saw last night. That's right, someone DIED. On stage. Nonetheless it was gruesome. Poor guy knew it too. Not like those friends you have who have no clue how exactly UNfunny they are. Hope he believes in life after death.

Every comic can have moments of comic genius, even when they're not so good. I know, because every now and then I'm funny. But I'm not a comedian. I shouldn't have to go to a comedy club and be forced to sift thorough sheit for a diamond in the rough. This guy was so bad that he ruined my taste for comedy last night and forced me to walk out after his act BEFORE the headliner even came on. Now I know what Jerry Seinfeld was talking about all those years before. Word to the wise, when you're forced into acting like a medium who talks to dead dogs, leave the stage. Step away from the joke, and back away slowly with your hands above your head. The comedy police will be by shortly with their squirting flowers.

I will say that he did have one funny thought. It went something like this, at the end of his act:

I'll leave you with a thought. Just once I'd like to be sitting watching the credits roll by for a move and see: Loads of animals were killed in the filming of this movie. That would be great. What would be better would be if it came after a movie in which no animals whatsoever appeared.

Other than that life is going well. Struggling through work while trying to plan my vacations and sell my house. That's going to be a bear, trying to figure out what to do with the money from that prior to buying another. Hell, just getting to the point where someone is ready to hand me a check could be a pain in the ass. Luckily being here I have an excuse that allows me to have Vince do most of the work.

I'm going to try and give you a daily taste of British colloquialisms from now on, and maybe even a photograph, if I have one.

Today's taste of Britain:
The British say "ta" instead of saying "thanks a lot." So, for example, you perform some task for them, and they'll say, "ta for that, J" instead of saying, "thanks a lot for that, J." It takes some getting used to. Plus they love to call me Jas which, many of you know, I dislike quite a bit. Oh well.

Today's photograph:
Stone Henge, ladies and gentleman, with some fancy photochop work as well. I kept the foreground a sepia-like color while inserting a color background. I think it works nicely. What do you think?

Rants and Raves

2005-12-05T08:42:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd throw together the links that I've been meaning to get out. Some are rants. Others are raves.

Okay, for starters, Santa shouldn't do stuff like this. It's just mean. You may want to resend your letters to Santa just in case it was yours.

And this? Well, looking up recently incarcerated individuals on myspace is creepy, but you bet your ass I may do it next time it happens. The article is actually quite good. I'd recommend you read it.

Canada is thinking of outfitting your car with a module that makes it harder for you to press down the accelerator once you exceed the speed limit. What happened to the days of Bo and Luke Duke, when it was just you against the man and the fight was fair? Now we've got red light cameras, speeding cameras, and even our own cars are being turned against us. While I can get behind a red light camera, and even a device like the OttoMate, built for personal use only, I just can't stomach it when they try and shut me down from inside my own car.

Are you an internet shopping addict? Christ, they'll turn anything into a "disease" these days. Can't you just be an idiot and leave it at that? If you can't make the connection that buying something COSTS MONEY, well then, you deserve what you get. While we're at it...Quick, put your kids on drugs. Whatever happened to just being a kid? These days you're not normal if you're not on some sort of drug. Crazy.

Kudos to this group of people for developing a cool-ass robotic hand that could actually do something. This thing is bad-ass. Can't wait to see it.

Thumbs down to TomKat! Will nothing remain sacred to this duo? First he's an expert on anti-depressants, and now he's an ultrasound technician. I'm finding it harder and hard to remember what he was like in "Top Gun." And that's sad, because I liked that movie.

Heard of base jumping? Yes? Heard of bungee jumping? Yes? Well have you heard of bungee jumping off a base jumper? No? Didn't think so. Enjoy. You can actually see the base jumper get jolted when the bungee jumper reaches the end of his rope. Then, to top it all off, the bungee jumper becomes a base jumper! Amazing.

How about a wonderful rendition of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" done on kitchen appliances. I have to admit that this was actually pretty good. Well, the drummer was, at least.

Finally, I'd like to post my all-time favorite SNL skit. It probably ranks up there for many of you as well. I have a fever, and the only prescription is... more cowbell!!!

Am I an Introvert?

2005-12-04T15:29:00.000-05:00

Or just lame? I’ve been looking back over my past several entries and see the same old thing: I went to work today, then I went home and read. Boooooring. But it’s true; that’s what I’ve been doing. Maybe instead of being woken up at 2AM to drunken singing I should be down there filling in the gaps of ‘Livin on a Prayer.’ Granted those kids are nearly 15 years younger than I am, but in a way that makes me perfectly suited to help them. Unlike them I actually GREW UP in the 80’s. What is with the British fascination with 80’s music? Speaking of which, apparently my 80's song is...

"When Doves Cry"

How could you just leave me standing,
Alone in a world so cold?
Maybe you're just too demanding.
Maybe I'm just like my father--too bold.
Maybe you're just like my mother.
She's never satisfied.
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like,
When doves cry.

Which 80's Song Fits You?

Anyway, I haven’t been up to much lately. Though I did actually get out of the house today and yesterday. Though yesterday all I really did was drop off my father’s jacket to be repaired. A button needs mending. That’s what you get when you wear a jacket that is nearly 40 years old. Oh, and I FINALLY went grocery shopping and, as much as I abhor shopping for groceries, I have to admit it feels good to have some food at the flat.

The Christmas spirit is in full effect in this town, too. On my way to get groceries (I walk into city center to the Tesco Metro) I stopped at the bookstore. Man that place, and every place in between, was crowded. I picked up a few books on the cities I selected for my trips. I picked Rome for January. I’ve always wanted to see that town, including Vatican City. I think I’ll follow it with Venice in February. There’s no way I’m missing that place. And I’ll wrap it up with Prague in March. Granted these will only be weekend trips, but I’m hoping to take in the broad range of things from each place and come back with some good stories and even better photographs. I also picked up a book on Ireland. That’s the trip I’ve decided to end on, and I’m going to take at least two weeks to see the whole of the island. I’ll hit towns like Belfast, Limerick, Dublin, and sites like the Giant’s Causeway and the Blarney Stone. The last book I got was a book detailing weekend trips in England, for those other weekends where I can’t catch a flight to some other country.

Damn I’m so lucky. But if anyone would like to join me over here, just say the word, because as much as I enjoy being able to take these trips, I’m still jealous that I’m not back in the States partying with my friends. I miss you guys. And I miss my dog and my family, too. These side trips are all that keep me happy I think. Well, the planning of them, at least.

Went out for sushi last night, too. Don’t know how that place stays in business but I’m thankful for it. There was only one other couple in there from 9 on when I got there (I got delayed watching Star Trek. Geek.). Still, it’s the only sushi place I’ve been able to find and I’d be hard pressed not to cry if it closed. Sniff. I love sushi.

Today I walked down to one of the pubs and read a bit there. It was nice to get out a bit, even if it was to do the same thing: read. I ordered the scampi, thinking I was getting a traditional scampi dish. Well, I was wrong. I got fried shrimp. It was good, don’t get me wrong, but it got me thinking what the difference was between shrimp, prawns, and scampi. Well, here is one website’s answer:

Prawns, shrimp or scampi?
A shrimp is a shrimp; a prawn is, well, a shrimp. The two words are used interchangeably in markets and restaurants everywhere. The textbooks may agree that a shrimp is a shrimp, but many people (and quite a few cookbooks) refer to this most popular of shellfish as a prawn.

Some people say the difference is size. In many parts of the country, small and medium shrimp are sold simply as shrimp, while large, extra-large, and jumbo shrimp are called prawns. Unfortunately, this "rule" doesn't always hold. In some areas, all shrimp, small and large, are sold as shrimp, while in other regions, all you'll find are prawns.
Purists may argue that the term "prawn" is reserved for the shrimp's close relative, the Dublin Bay prawn. The Dublin Bay prawn resembles a shrimp, but it's distinguished by its small pincer claws (similar to those on a lobster) and a narrower body. Sometimes called Florida or Caribbean lobsterettes or French langoustines, these shellfish can be hard to find in markets. And unlike shrimp, Dublin Bay prawns are usually cooked with their heads on. The claws make quite an attractive presentation, although they're too tiny to render any meat.

In Italy, Dublin Bay prawns are called scampi, which has confused North Americans even more. In Canada and the US, scampi refers to a dish of large shrimp that are cooked with garlic and butter or olive oil.

Anyway, hope that clears a bit up for you. Well, it probably doesn’t, because it’s all semantics in the end anyway. However, maybe you can answer for me why the Brits don’t give spoons out with their meals. Every time I’m forced to eat my peas with a fork, scooping the peas onto it with my butterknife. It’s quite the balancing act. Did something happen between the Brits and spoons similar to the Irish and their potatoes? And two pints of 1664 with your meal can give you a healthy buzz, too. That’s a good beer.

Well, here's hoping I have more interesting articles to write over the coming weeks. If not, then at least know, mother, that I am safe. I miss you all. Oh, give my congratulations to Ducky and Fiddy, too, though why God sees fit to punish all my boys with girls I'll never know. Well, Jared deserves it, at least. Take care!

It Can't Rain All the Time

2005-12-02T04:05:00.000-05:00

Right? Wrong, Brandon! When will it bloody stop raining over here? Water makes up 70-75% of the body weight of most people, right? Well I think the Brits must be like 95% water. Maybe Great Britain is actually the lost city of Atlantis the it's inhabitants need all this rain to keep their gills wet. Come to think of it, you never really see a Brit wearing anything less than a collared shirt or turtleneck. Why is that if not to hide their gills, those fish bastards.

Anyway, yesterday didn't bring much new. Tons of work and not much play. I did, however, get massively dropped on my lunchtime run. The course was hilly, and muddy, and I just didn't have the power I normally have. I think I'm still a bit sick. Sometimes I feel like my head is going to pop, but my sinuses are fine, if even a little dry. I'm wondering what it could be. Last night I slept alright, but on previous nights the pressure is nearly unbearable, a cross somewhere between a headache and sinuses. One night I even resorted to aspirin and a hot bath at 2AM. But again, last night was fine so maybe I'm over the worst of it.

I picked up my package at the post office after work, too. This "post office" was a room literally less than 10' x 10' with a window going to the work area. So there are like 20 people in the queue winding around this tiny room trying to pick up their packages or mail something off. Odd. Anyway, my package had "The Chronicles of Narnia," the complete series, and "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." Both are hardcover, but the Narnia series is gorgeous. All the books are contained in one hardbound book, which comes in a protective sleeve. Quite nice. Actually it's quite a bit like the complete "Calvin and Hobbes" series I got awhile back, which is also beautiful. My library, once I get one, is going to rock. I can't wait to dive into these books.

Today I hope to finish work early and go home and relax, maybe (and you know I mean maybe) even stop off on the way home and get some groceries. While I don't mind eating Chinese every night, or going out, it certainly isn't the most healthy way to go through life, I don't care how many runs you go on to keep the weight down.

I'd also like to wrap up my New Year's plan this weekend and maybe make some headway on Prague, Venice, and Rome. Anyone out there have any advice on those three cities? Or any recommendations on other weekend getaways from England? I know, I know, I'm so lucky. Well, you're right. I am. And I plan on taking every advantage of it.

But even I'll only push my luck so far. You couldn't pay me enough to be a consultant in Iraq right now. Or any other war-torn country for that matter. No amount of hazard pay is going to get me to release my hold on my will to live. I'll stay here, safe and secure, and make less money thank you very much. I'm just saying this b/c we all keep reading about the kidnappings over there and how their increasing daily. Not a good sign. Don't get me wrong, I support our troops. I just don't support our "Commander in Chief" or the war itself. But we're stuck now, aren't we? And we'll probably be stuck long after Bush is gone, too. In response to the war in Iraq many countries have been forced to rethink their threat levels.

Finally, I'd like to draw attention to a rather serious matter in my opinion. Remember Marty McFly's sister? Or the Bosom Buddy's inside girl? Well she lost her battle with cancer recently. And that's sad. We lose too many good people to this disease. So I try to do everything I can to help fund the research for finding a cure, like supporting Lance Armstrong and his foundation. But my main focus is with Club 10-56, my American Cancer Society Relay for Life Team. The main event will be in June where our team will walk for 24 hours in support of raising awareness and finding a cure. So keep an eye out for many of our events, including wine parties, date auctions, special deals, and ... The Backyard Bash. Contact me for more information. Better yet, click here to make a donation in my name. I'll buy you a drink later and, more importantly, you'll be doing a great public service. Plus it's tax deductible.

Welcome to December!!!

2005-12-01T06:01:00.000-05:00

Today is World Aids Day. Enjoy.

In other news, remember that really bad movie from 1997, "Face Off," starring John Travolta and Nicolas Cage? You know the one where they switch faces and all hell breaks loose? Well, we're one step closer to making that little gem a reality.

And now it turns out that the TSA is easing restrictions on sharp objects aboard planes. Great, so now we've got some out of work bloke, recently laid off from RIM, the makers of the CrackBerry, I mean BlackBerry for shipping heroin in the company office supplies, taking his new face and his new blade on MY plane and playing at holding the entire plane hostage while carving his initials in the pilot's ass.

Then he takes his ransom money and invests in the soon-to-be-released single-letter domains, where he freely advertises his dislike for the United States by posting scathing Bush parodies like this and this, all the while waging his personal war on the Encyclopedia Brittanica Kid and the Puberty Pals. Hmmm, maybe it's not all that bad after all.

Well, I finished booking my hotels for my New Year's Vacation, and man does it feel good. There's really not much left to do aside from get my bus to and from Edinburgh, and maybe solidify some of the site-seeing plans. It's nice to be prepared. And check this out: I'm starting to plan weekend trips to Prague and Venice for next year. My company will pay for them rather than paying for a flight back to the States, which would be impractical anyway with my workload. So I'm going to take serious advantage of it. Any suggestions?

My Narnia books and the new Harry Potter book arrived at my flat yesterday, but were too big to fit through the slot in the door (go figure), so I guess I'll have to drop by the post office to pick it up. No rush though as I'm still reading through "Knife of Dreams" by Robert Jordan.

Time to get back to work before anyone notices (heh heh), especially considering I'm nicking off to go running for my lunch hour.

13 Days

2005-11-29T15:32:00.000-05:00

Sounds like a movie, no? Well it isn't. That's the number of business days between now and our first demo. So it's crunch time. And we find out that one of the blokes coming is a man who commands 100's of millions of pounds. That's a dude with some pull. Impress him and we could be in the market to make some serious bank. But I won't, and can't, go into details, so I'll just say a few things like, "Man I'm busy" and "My fridge is still bare. I hate grocery shopping" and "My Christmas shopping is Done! How cool is that?" And then it's off to say "I fixed the windscreen on my car today and had a free lunch with my boss." We'll wrap it up with telling you that I'm enjoying a glass of wine with the best that my bare cabinets have to offer while I'm writing you this. Tomorrow I'm spending my lunch hour running with a few fellows from work; should be a good opportunity to get to know a few of them.

Now, it's time to share with you a few of the web articles and videos I've stumbled across over the past few days. While not always topical, they still give you an insight into what I find interesting or humorous. So, read on, my friends...

Okay, I don't like Bush. Well, I like bush, as in trees and, um, lady parts, but not Bush, as in the leader of our country. Bill Maher has some good points here about why the Republican Adminstration has their priorities all fouled up.

If that's too heavy for you, enjoy this little video edit that has Bush and Blair cursing each other out. Cute.

On to something I find amazing. To quote her website,

"I never thought of myself as an artist. The real reason I went to art school was to eliminate phys ed and math from my life."

And this is what she does. You won't see these in any cathedral. Amazing art, that is.

George Michael is coming out of the public restroom, er, closet and making his relationship official. It's about time. Now maybe he can get those much-needed homo tax breaks that Bush has been offering up.

Are you creative? Then you're a whore! And a depressed one at that. According to this I'm one of the most creative individuals on the planet. Well, maybe not.

And finally, Matt is the biggest loser. My hat is off to him and his partners on one of the only reality shows in my opinion with substance. Literally. Sure that substance is cellulite, but that's a good thing. These people on this show earn my respect because they're putting themselves out there for the world to see AND they are trying to change their lifestyles for the better. We could all learn a little something from them. Other reality show contestants are there to get their 15 minutes of fame, and maybe springboard into a great public career, but these folk may get that AND so much more: a lean, mean body and the habits to keep it that way.

Busy Day, Wet Shoes

2005-11-28T15:27:00.000-05:00

Well, yesterday was a busy day, but in a good way. And it snowed! Quite a bit, actually. Something like 5 inches in 3 hours I'm told. Even forced me to buy de-icer this morning, which I love! I don't know why I ever used a scraper before. This stuff you just spray it on and wait, then turn on your wipers. Whoosh, the ice is gone. Lovely.

So, yesterday I woke up and, knowing it was my mother's birthday, immediately ordered her flowers from FTD.com. This did take a bit of research, however, as I didn't know her work address. And then it took some hoping that she went to work on her birthday. But she did, and she got the flower basket just fine. Happy Birthday, Mom.

At work I sent some emails to get some more information on my holiday to Glasgow. I found out more information on taking a whisky tour, which should rock. I also got more info on, get this, Falconing! Yep, I'm going out hunting with birds of prey. How cool is that? Finally, and somewhat unfortunately, I discovered that my skill (or lack thereof) will not be enough to be allowed to go horseback riding while I'm there. Of course it could end up being that the girls go riding and the boys go drinking (whisky). We shall see.

Aside from some emails I even managed to get quite a bit of real work done. And that's always a good thing. I finally got my web applications up and running and am able to start in on a new task.

I also updated and submitted my resume to Jared, as well as answered some of his questions that recruiters often ask. You see, I figure that I have my clearances so I should use them, at least for a bit. You know, make some money before becoming a teacher. See how I like a change of companies, and I've been impressed with how long Jared has remained with Booz Allen. On the teaching front, though, Jared's wife, Meggie, sent me some information on teaching that I'll have to look over this weekend. Should be some good stuff. Hell, I even caught up on the movie reviews I've been promising, though I tried to keep them short.

Finally, I scheduled an appointment to fix the chip I got in my windscreen coming back from London last week. While the insurance on the rental won't cover it at least my company will. Now I just have to find the place to get it done. They were going to come out to do it while I'm at work but the weather just won't allow it. Bastards.

Well, I'll leave you with some shocking news:

Seems this girl got the kiss of death from her boyfriend. Amazing. Never knew such a small amount of nuts could kill a girl.

Live lingerie models are stirring up this small town. Personally I think this rocks. While I may not buy much more lingerie I'd at least, um, stand up and give my support for the models.

Next up, Ozzy makes the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, along with his pals from Black Sabbath and some others, like the Sex Pistols. Way to go, Ozzy. I just wonder if the old bloke is sane enough to realize what he's getting.

Finally, my random thought of this morning: How is it that your dreams can not only include people and events that exist in your life, but they can make up people, events, and (this is what wierds me out) phrases and words, too? Like last night I was in the back seat as Susan Orth (real, though I haven't seen her in 5+ years) drove my rental (also real) down a road by work (still real) explaining to the drving instructor (not real!) that she loved this area because she could, and I quote, "...pillow stud people while driving." What does that mean? And why was she crying when she said it?

Oh, here's a photo for you, too. Enjoy!

This Seems About Right

2005-11-28T07:20:00.000-05:00

Saw this quiz while trolling some friends' blogs. Decided to take it. Turns out, I think it's pretty accurate. What do you think?

I am 50% Asshole/Bitch.

I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em.

Take the
Asshole/Bitch Test
@ FualiDotCom

"The Wedding Crashers"

2005-11-28T04:15:00.000-05:00

"Wedding Crashers" was a good movie. I'd seen it before, but it was just what the doctor ordered on the trip back to the States (NOT the one where I passed out). Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, and Christopher Walken, among others (including an uncredited Will Ferrell), deliver a very good performance. Watch this one.

Okay, I'll keep it short. John and Jeremy (Wilson and Vaughn) have taken over the torch from Chazz Reinhold (Ferrell) and are "professional" wedding crashers. Each year they hit the wedding circuit picking up babes. Each year they get better and better, until John meets the Senator's (Walken) daughter. Now he's breaking all their rules just to get close to her.

Bottom line: a funny movie. Sure the humor is a bit childish at times, and painful at others, but that's what makes it good. It simply doesn't strive to become anything more than a good, funny, story. I'd recommend it to anyone with some time to spare. Or anyone looking for some pointers for their next wedding. Or funeral.